This is not to say I didn’t enjoy the conversation. I did. I always find it interesting to learn about people’s passions, especially if those aspirations are to create a better world, one way or another.
Also, I find it fascinating to explore the perceptions we all have of
each other. That’s what’s great about having the chance to connect with
people face-to-face and go beyond what you see on their social media.
For 99% of the time, I have no clue what the Coffee with John
conversations will lead. This time I had an inkling. I just knew where
the conversation was going to go beforehand — not so much the
conversation but the subtext of it.
So in a sense, I felt
disconnected as I knew there was an agenda on the table. This is neither
good or bad. It is what it is. In the long run, if I can help someone, I
more than willing to explore possibilities.
I guess those all
are takeaways, but for me, the biggest: McDonald’s coffee ain’t half
bad. I had not been in a McDonald’ in years. So I was pleasantly
surprised.
Yesterday marked the first weekend I ever had a Coffee with John.
Typically, I meet up with people during the morning hours of the week.
The weekends are the days to do the cleaning of the house, getting things ready for the week, attending this or that event, or just tackling some sort of project I have created for myself – organize this, paint that, or just catch up with work, if needed. Always something, right?
This weekend, for the first in a while, I didn’t feel like doing any of the above. I felt tired and I was not in the best frame of mind – just stuck on my own story, you know?
Now, was I looking forward to a virtual coffee on a Sunday afternoon?
Yes, and no. Yes, because the person is someone I love dearly and had
not spoken to them in many years. And no, because I was just feeling
lethargic and irritated at the world.
The hour came and I am glad I got out of my head.
But that’s not the only takeaway. What kept popping in my mind afterwards was how we gamble with time.
We think we have all this time to have that coffee with an old friend;
take that one class we always been meaning to tackle; undertake and
conquer that alluding home project; visit all the places in our list of
countries to see and experience; call that one relative you have been
meaning to call in the last three months…the list is endless, as long
as the excuses not to tackle them. We gamble and think we will get to
those things, eventually.
Perhaps, we will. Maybe we will live for 100 years. Still, even then, I bet you, we will still have not done all the little things we put aside for no good reason.
Not to say that we all now need to get into a race against time, running wild with no regards for the future or our responsibilities.
That would be fruitless. All I can say is that we gamble with time. The irony is that we think we don’t have the time to do all the little things we say we want to do. So we just put them aside, for another more auspicious opportunity that might never come.
I don’t know if this is true but I remember coming across somewhere about certain cultures that treat each interaction with each other as if the last one, with no guarantee of a future meeting. For me, there is something beautiful about that.
Makes me cherish people more, appreciate
the day-to-day, and push myself to get out of my own head to just do one
of those little things I have always wanted to do or have meant to do.
We all make our gamble with time.
Coffee with John number thirty-something (I had lost count when I originally wrote the note).
The takeaway: gratefulness. We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
I am grateful to everyone that has said
yes to meet me. I am grateful for your time, your stories, and your
boldness. Thank you for sharing, taking the time to meet, and for giving me your warmth.
I look forward to connecting and having more conversation over coffee (or tea).
The takeaway: the world is vast, not only terms of geography but also in terms of possibilities, experiences, and in the stories we all carry. Explore the world around you, meet new people, take a drive to new areas.
The best part of Coffee with John: connecting with people and hearing their stories.
I recently came across a prayer on a book I was given. Part of the prayer goes like this:
“O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love.”
Connecting with people during my Coffee with John has been for me about understanding, loving, and putting aside my own preconceptions or expectations of what the conversations should be about and lead to – friendships, epiphanies, edification, salvation or whatever.
In that sense, the prayer resonates with me. It’s not about me, my circumstances or wishes. Not to say that I don’t have to remind myself of this each time I walk out of the door to meet someone over coffee. I do.
Still, the more I connect with people, I like to believe I am opening myself to be more resilient, understanding, loving and just more present.
The takeaway today: sometimes life gives you a free croissant. Take it and enjoy it.
From early this week. The takeaway: enjoy the spur- of the- moment. While visiting a family friend and doing errands on this particular day, Coffee with John just happened. Typically, I have to coordinate with people to meet up and separate a date for us to meet up for coffee. So it was nice that we just ran with the moment and the situation allowed for it.
Coffee With John 