The idea for Coffee with John came as a way to deal with my wife’s passing after a three-year, long battle with Triple Negative breast cancer.
What prompted the idea was the challenge and difficulty of dealing with the physical and emotional emptiness of the house. I work from home and my wife was there to share the little moments of day-to-day life with me. We shared small talk, meals, coffee breaks, and the like.
I typically exercise and practice yoga. So I tried doing that to fill in the void, but I needed something else, especially in the mornings where I just found myself (still do) lost, like a wondering dog not knowing exactly where to go. I ended up just chasing my own tail without accomplishing much in the mornings.
I had become aware of coffee circles for people dealing with loss and grief, but…. Look, nothing against those groups. I am sure they would probably understand my pain and emotions better than anyone, but my notion is that those conversations would be focused on loss and grief; too heavy for me to handle.
So, rather than joining one with strangers in the same, sad unfortunate club of circumstances, I decided to start my own coffee meetings.
Even before becoming aware of the grief coffee circles, I had the idea for it. It only became concrete after I met with two lovely friends on two separate occasions. The experience nourished my spirit and prompted me to “officially” announce it within my network and to actively meet up with people.
Since then, I have met up with a few friends, friends of my wife, neighbors, and people I have only known in passing. My goal is to continue to do it. It’s not about making or becoming close friends with anyone – if that happens, I welcome it with open arms.
The drive and the intention of “Coffee with John” sessions remain to meet friends/acquaintances for a cup of Joe at a local venue (or wherever) with the conversations taking whatever direction.
I let the conversations dictate the meetings. I do have a specific request at the end of the conversation for people – something I cannot divulge with you until we meet – but that’s the only planned aspect.
In me sharing, I hope this journey is helpful to you as well.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton