Month: September 2022

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#113 Coffee with John

When was the last time you did something for pure joy?

Most kids do that all the time. They might have some initial trepidation, but they go for the adventure, letting themselves be carried away by the moment without care or worries. They run down the hill with open arms, laughing and being present.

As adults, we tend not to be easily swayed by that hill, holding back and overthinking: it’s too steep, and what if I fall; my shoes will get dirty; I don’t have the proper attire; I will have to come back up; and a thousand other thoughts crossing our minds before we turn our backs away from that magnificent mountain top beckoning us to take the chance.

Am I an adventurous person? Have I always been adventurous?

I don’t know if I have a check box to answer either of those questions.

I have turned my back and stepped away from a promise of an adventure many times. Fear, skepticism, mistrust, and lack of confidence have been the culprits. Yet, I feel I have taken many steps forward in following a path open to exploring and running down valleys of fun wherever they take me.

It doesn’t mean my old friend trepidation stops visiting with vows of seduction, tempting me to take the bait to rest in a cradle of comfort and safety. A case in point: a few days before my Coffee with John #113 that old acquaintance came knocking hard.

No good reason or anything to do with my coffee mate but dread was getting the best of me. I don’t know why.

Perhaps my hesitation came on the heels of pondering the question a few weeks back of why I was continuing this project (a question that each new meeting provides new steadfast grounds to forge forward).

The meeting reminded me to let go of reasons, justifications, fears. Trust and run the mountain top with open arms to all possibilities.

If I had canceled or postponed the meeting, I would have robbed myself of a joyful conversation, a good coffee, and the chance to get to know an intriguing lawyer/business owner with a penchant for history, making a difference and leaving a mark in the landscape of Charlotte.

Spread your arms wide and embrace the adventure of everyday life.

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#112 Coffee with John: how are you showing up in our community?

Hands-on New York/Orlando, Bright Blessings, and Crisis Assistance Ministry are some of the organizations I came to know because of my wife.

She was always looking to volunteer and be of service wherever we settled, dragging me and my son along many times against our wishes. She volunteered at schools, preschools, animal shelters, and any organization that tugged at her heart. Children’s causes had a special place for her. Her ultimate dream was to open an orphanage in her native Dominican Republic (DR).

The few times we visited DR she would set aside in our luggage toys or clothes to disperse to family members in need or random children playing along the side of dirt roads next to shanty houses — the image of a young girl smiling in complete amazement when my wife handed her a doll comes to mind as I write this sentence. I still have a bucket half full of Barbie dolls and other toys we never got to take but which I hope to give away one day on a trip back to her land.

My coffee mate for Coffee with John #112 reminded me of that magnanimous spirit that so inspired my wife. A stranger who reached out to me after seeing my CWJ FB Group and Ballantyne Magazine piece, my mate seems to be involved in different organizations, from the arts to health-care services, volunteering and giving her time with utter joy, kindness, and passion.

I don’t know nor can I pretend to know what drives those selfless spirits to give part of themselves to their communities: religion, love, or a sense of duty. Whatever the motivator, if there is even a need for one, prompts the question: how are you showing up in your community?

Personally, I had continued the tradition, setting aside at least one Saturday a month to volunteer at Crisis Ministry, but all that got derailed once the pandemic hit. Now, I have no excuse. I have continued to donate blood but I hope to renew that flame and get back to giving to the community somehow, even on a small scale.

I hope you find your own reasons to give back and get involved in your community. If you do, share your story with me and tell me your experience of perhaps bringing a smile and a sense of wonder to a fellow passenger in this life.