Like a lot of things in life, I didn’t know it at the moment.
I had no plan to shed tears as I told my companion for Coffee with John #114 how I had met my wife. It was not in the works to show her the picture I carry inside the journal I take with me to my Coffee with John meeting of my wife wearing roller skates and a pink tutu. I had no intentions of showing and telling her what I was planning to do after we met with my wife’s wedding band and an 1800s Colombian coin that belonged to my father resting on my back packet that day.
I had no intention of sharing any of that but I could have told my coffee mate dark secrets I don’t even have in my vault of not-so-secrets.
I had only met her once in a group setting before our coffee meet-up. I can only guess what it was about her that opened me up to share the vulnerability and river of emotions I carried with me under my sleeve that morning.
Within two days on the eve of my wife’s death anniversary, perhaps my emotions were bursting to flow, waiting for the right conduit to set me free. I like to think that it was a combination of this and her magical prowess ensuing sereneness and calmness.
The hour went quickly and we only scratched the surface. Maybe we will continue the conversation another time or maybe that was the time we had for us to share inmate stories about family and moments in our lives that have shaped us.
And sometimes all we need is that one time to connect and share our hidden sentiments with a stranger, carrying us forward as we release emotions into the world for us to heal. I needed that moment without realizing it.
I drove to a jewelry store a friend had recommended years prior after our conversation where I took the wedding band and ring to make into a necklace, forging two treasures of my life into one.
A whole different story but for years I thought I had lost that coin — a coin I have been carrying since I was seven years old. When I found it again shortly after my wife’s death as I cleaned out her stuff, the idea of the necklace came to me almost immediately. But, for whatever reason, it had taken me four years to take the step into making it a reality. I am glad it did, though.
Sharing parts of my story with my coffee mate moments earlier felt ceremonial and serendipitous. All came together to remember and celebrate the memories of loved ones, as well as the connections of our past and future.
Coffee With John 