Over coffee, we found ourselves talking about photography and our shared story as immigrants, naturally leading into something deeper. He shared with me about his mother.
Without going into the details, as it is not my story to tell, what I will say is that she is a woman who chose forgiveness over resentment, love over chaos, and peace over the pain she had every right to hold onto. The circumstances that demanded that choice were extraordinary. Her response was more so. Sitting with that story, it made me think about the long journeys that go unseen to reach a certain level of peace, expertise, triumph, or healing.
We see those things in others, and we want them now. Especially in an age where immediacy has become our default expectation.
It took the Buddha six years of practicing extreme asceticism and yogic discipline before reaching enlightenment under the Bodhi tree. It took Julia Child a full decade of learning, cooking, and writing before achieving mainstream success. She didn’t even learn to cook until she moved to France at thirty-seven, publishing her seminal work, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, ten years later.
It took his mother years of quiet, unseen interior work to arrive at a forgiveness that transcended hurt into love and openness.
There is no magic number of hours. No formula. We might luck out and arrive sooner than expected, or we might toil and see no apparent progress for years. But the progress is there, even when invisible.
After years of writing, building this project, and picking up a camera with intention—I am still finding the words, still progressing one photo at a time, still learning to sit across from a stranger and be fully present without armor. None of it is finished. All of it is the work.
All we can do is put in the hours, believe in the search, and live in the process. The hope is that we can reach a level we ourselves cannot perceive, but will inspire others to understand and truly see.
Coffee With John 