Category: coffee

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#56 Coffee with John

I don’t know if I have a clear takeaway. What I left with was the thought of the stories we leave behind and the stories that precede us – those of our ancestors including our parents and next of kin.

How do those stories shape and define us? Do they inform us? Do the weight on us? Do those stories have any bearing on our lives and future? Do they matter in the end?

As someone that likes stories, I have always been curious about the stories of my relatives and those that came before me.

But what about mine? What is my story?

“…jmm was born in a small town in Colombia..life circumstances brought him to the United States where he lived in New York for XX years…Went to XX college..worked at XX place for XX years. He was married for XX years and had an only child. Not long after turning 45, his wife passed, leaving him a widower. After that, he continued to live in Charlotte NC for XX years until he blah, blah, blah. And that, children, is the story of your great grant-uncle/grandfather/great-grandfather/….”

That’s certainly part of my tale but do I even care if it’s passed down to future generations? Do you think of the story or legacy you will leave behind for the next bloodline?

All I can say is that what matters to me is having a positive imprint in the people around me – my kid, family, friends, colleagues, community and those I come in contact with, even for short periods.

In the end, whatever the story people will tell about me in the future (or even now) is filtered through their own lenses. So, all I can do is live life and write my story as life happens. I leave others to interpret and create their own narrative of it.

I guess the takeaway is that stories of our past, along with us, will fade. What matters is the now and how we chose to live our lives at this moment for ourselves and for those in our lives.


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#52 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #52 was a perfect combination of a Sunday breakfast at a Colombian restaurant, which I had been craving for ages, and coffee afterward at Amélie’s.

The food was great at the restaurant, the coffee not so much. (You would think, Colombian place=good coffee, but there you have it.)


What was great all throughout was the conversation. I have to say that I truly have enjoyed each and every coffee meet-up.

Each meeting has been different, some light and others, emotionally heavy. I am always enriched by each experience. I am honored and grateful that people have taken the time to meet with me. And I am deeply honored when people open up and decide to share their personal stories with me.

So, to answer the question, yes. I will continue to meet people for Coffee with John for the next foreseeable future. I do have a magic number in mind to culminate but that’s a long way still.

My takeaway from Coffee with John #52 is that I really enjoy talking and learning about people. I like connecting and sharing.

The other takeaway, which I attribute 100% to what my partner in crime on this coffee meet up said: life doesn’t happen after you accomplish XY&Z.

We often think that our lives will somehow magically be better after we retire, move, get that degree, change jobs, meet that special person, get that promotion, or whatever we think we need to achieve to truly enjoy ourselves and our lives.

Life is happening right now. Whatever you are in the midst of, enjoy the journey. I am not saying don’t have goals. Goals are part of the life path you are taking.
Just don’t think your life will begin after you accomplish that goal. All I am saying is don’t forget yourself and others while striving to achieve those benchmarks in your life.

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#51 Coffee with John

This was my first coffee back in Charlotte since Vegas.


Many takeaways from this last meeting but what came through and resonates in my mind still is the importance of self-care.


We can’t sacrifice our physical or mental well-being to meet other people’s expectations, desires, needs.

Sure, there will be special circumstances when we have to put ourselves last to care for those that depend on us for their own well-being but, for the majority of the time, there are no excuses.

You can’t take care of others or take on projects if you don’t take care of yourself first. Not sure if this is an actual Buddha saying or not but the sentiment applies, “Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Self-care can mean many things: resting, exercising, eating well, seeking counseling, or just taking time for yourself away from others. For me, this week it has been about getting that physical done after postponing it for almost two years now –the next step will be making appointments with the optometrist.

Give yourself some love and take care of yourself! Listen to your body and do what you have to do.

PS: The conversation just flowed during the meeting and I forgot to take my regular picture to record the moment. So here is a picture from Vegas. Because, why not?


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#50 Coffee with John

Fifty is an epic number.

So it was fitting that Coffee with John #50 was of epic proportions. Not only because it happened in Vegas, but also because it was a gathering of people dear to my heart.

While we did have a semi-official Coffee with John on the last day we were all together, I see this as more of a series of conversations we had over coffee (and other drinks) at different intervals during odd hours of the day/night. Sometimes all of us a group or other times one-on-one.

My biggest takeaway: the value of friendships.

Two of the guys that joined me in Vegas I have known since my teens. One of them has been a close friend since the first month or so since my arrival to this country back in 1985. The other, I met during 8 grade or so.

The third member of this Vegas motley crew was my brother-in-law, whom I have known since he first started dating my sister when I was about 15/16 years old.

(The crew did not necessarily know each other before the Vegas adventure. Two of them have been friends for a while but this was really our first time taking a trip of this proportion together.)

The friendship with each other over the years has been different, depending on where we have been in our lives. Sometimes we have been as close as dirt under nails. Some years, we have barely spoken to each other.

Regardless of differences, various experiences, and physical distance between us, their friendship has always been a constant in my life, even at those intervals when we were not in contact for whatever reason.

That longevity is something that I treasure. I am grateful to have been able to remain friends after all these years with all of them. It doesn’t matter how much time passes before seeing each other, we always pick up as we had seen each other just yesterday.

The other takeaway from this long-extended Coffee with John: take trips with your friends. You might hate each other after or bond like never before. I know I can speak for my friends when I say that we all learned new things about each other, things we never knew about each other before. Nothing earth-shattering. Just about each other’s idiosyncrasies.

So, yes. Value, cultivate your friendships, and plan a trip with close friends. Cultivating and maintaining those friendships takes work at times, but don’t neglect your friendships. That’s my takeaway.

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#49 Coffee with John

Where to begin? This was definitely a special encounter. So many takeaways.


But I guess the one that predominates is be adventurous, take risks.


If my previous post was about learning to say no, this one is about the complete opposite.

We need to let go and learn to say yes to new adventures in our lives. Excuses abound: I am too old; the place it’s too far; I have never been; what if they don’t like me; what will people say, and what about this and that.

At times in our lives, we need to put those concerns aside and just go with the flow. I am not saying to be careless or reckless but sometimes you just need to go for things in life without much thought, if that makes sense.

You never know where those new adventures will lead. You might end up rolling around in an open field, laughing, feeling the grass and ground underneath your body, and sharing a magical, wonderful moment on a sunny, Sunday afternoon — an afternoon and a moment in time that will fill your spirit and body with joy.

That moment of bliss might not last, but it will be etched in your soul, heart, and skin, informing and contributing to your vase of happiness.

So, go out there and be adventurous. That can mean anything, take a new route to work/home, listen to new music, talk to a stranger….the possibilities are endless.
If you do end up undertaking a new adventure in your life, let me know. I would love to hear all about it.

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#48 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #48

I have two major takeaways:

1) Sometimes you just need to say no, even to things you love. I committed last minute to meeting knowing I had pending work and a preoccupied mind – deadlines, a performance, house chores, etc. I met and I tried my best to be present and to be completely open to the process but I was not there 100%. All of which is not fair to the person that committed their time and energy to meet up with me. That’s all on me. If you can help it and have control over the situation, saying no is perfectly okay.

2) Take pause and put your judgments away. I try to be non-judgemental but I am not perfect. I came in to this meeting with preconceived notions and just a lot of baggage. Again, not fair to the person meeting me — a person that I don’t even recall meeting before but who was willing and made the effort to reach out to me. So, it’s all on me. I take responsibility for my own failings and hope to be a better person. I guess that’s another takeaway: opportunities present themselves for us to reflect and be better versions of ourselves.

PS: Again, no picture from the meeting so here is another picture from my trip to Colombia this summer.

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#47 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #47

Takeaway: Today is the youngest you will ever be. We can look back at all of the wonderful Throwback Thursday pictures and feel nostalgic about how young we looked or we can look in the mirror today and appreciate the years we have today.

This moment in time in your life is for the taking. The past is long gone and whatever you didn’t do back then, hate to tell you, that boat sailed away long ago. There are things you will never get back or get to pursue. Does this mean you don’t get second chances or that it is too late for this or that? No.

Today is your day to amend those relationships you always wanted to fix, take that class you always wanted to pursue, go on that trip you always dreamed of, call that friend you have been meaning to reach for the longest…today is a gift for you.

Take care of what’s in front of your – job, relationships, etc – but don’t forget you in the process.

PS- I thought I had a picture of the meeting up but I guess not. Just enjoy this one instead. Today is your day. Make it wonderful.

Palomino, Colombia 2019
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#46 Coffee with John

Each of the past 46 encounters have been magical. I have met some incredible people, sharing their time and stories with me. I have also gotten to know people better.

I so look forward to continuing on this journey.

My last meet up left me with an even greater appreciation of people’s willingness to spend an hour or two of their time with me.

Waking up to meet someone at 7AM you have only met once for a day is not an agreement most people will undertake…

My takeaway: the most generous and wonderful gift you can give someone is your time and a piece of your vulnerability, honesty, and heart. You never know the imprint you will make in their lives, even if temporary.

Here is a poem my new found friend shared with me on this 7AM meet up:

The Big Heart – Poem by Anne Sexton
Too many things are occurring for even a big heart to hold.’ – From an essay by W. B. Yeats

Big heart,
wide as a watermelon,
but wise as birth,
there is so much abundance
in the people I have:
Max, Lois, Joe, Louise,
Joan, Marie, Dawn,
Arlene, Father Dunne,
and all in their short lives
give to me repeatedly,
in the way the sea
places its many fingers on the shore,
again and again
and they know me,
they help me unravel,
they listen with ears made of conch shells,
they speak back with the wine of the best region.
They are my staff.
They comfort me.

They hear how
the artery of my soul has been severed
and soul is spurting out upon them,
bleeding on them,
messing up their clothes,
dirtying their shoes.
And God is filling me,
though there are times of doubt
as hollow as the Grand Canyon,
still God is filling me.
He is giving me the thoughts of dogs,
the spider in its intricate web,
the sun
in all its amazement,
and a slain ram
that is the glory,
the mystery of great cost,
and my heart,
which is very big,
I promise it is very large,
a monster of sorts,
takes it all in—
all in comes the fury of love.

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#45 Coffee with John

Running behind these posts: Coffee with John #45

I had a few takeaways from this encounter. Now I am just trying to remember them.

First, a takeaway for me: I need to expand my definition of spiritual. Or better yet, I need to define it for myself. The spectra of meanings are vast out there; the more I meet people, the range widens.

Second: sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. We give or want to attach meaning to certain events/circumstances/coincidences when maybe what we need to do is be in that moment and let the mysteries of the universe work themselves out.

Last takeaway: grateful for people willing to meet up with me over coffee, tea or whatever they prefer. I truly appreciate each encounter.

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#44 Coffee with John

The takeaway: courage and tenacity take many forms and shapes.

We sometimes admire the bravery of others, admiring them for qualities that we might not have or think we don’t.

Not to take anything away from that source of inspiration, but we sometimes do not acknowledge our own acts of bravery and the many roads we have had to take to get us where we stand today.

We are all brave, one way or another. What you have gone through not many would have been able to endure. If there is an area you feel lacking, then draw inspiration from those around you and challenge yourself.

You are able to conquer whatever you want. Not easy at times but who said it would be.