Category: Grief

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Interlude

I had ridiculous amounts of coffee while in Colombia with my siblings, especially with my brother.

We had coffee in the mornings, on the road, at rest stops, at market places..name a place and you would find us there drinking coffee. While not “official” Coffee with John, the take away from those moments: enjoy your family.

Don’t let the years go by to take the time to spend time with your loved ones. It had been 12 years since I had seen my brother and another 30 years since the last time all four of us siblings were together in the same place.

My wife’s last name was Estrella. So this place took a special meaning.

Life happens and things come in the way, but we all need to make the effort. If you don’t have family/siblings, take the time to share with your friends and those you call family. Time is borrowed. Make it count.

My siblings – all together for the first time in close to 30 years.
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#42 Coffee with John

“The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42.”

42 is also known to Lost fans as one of the key numbers deciding the extinction of mankind.

And, no! I did not turn 42 yesterday. The number corresponds to my last Coffee with John before I take off for three weeks on vacation.

Just as the number, the meeting held its own mysteries and served to be an auspicious meetup.

The takeaway: life is filled with beginnings – births, graduations, marriage, parenthood, moving, house ownership, and among the many that life brings.

Sometimes you find yourself taking the journey of a new beginning with a partner, family, or by yourself.

Each beginning can be a journey of unknowns, challenges, and triumphs.

Sometimes the hardest beginnings you undertake by yourself without the comfort of a lifetime partner or the closeness of family or friends. While challenging, if you find yourself facing a new beginning on your own, look at it as an opportunity to find and explore yourself. Get to know yourself and don’t forget to love yourself in the process.

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#41 Coffee with John

Takeaway: Life is unpredictable, throwing you curves at random times.

Sometimes you will be prepared. You will dust yourself off and carry forward.

Other times, life will blow all the air out of you, knocking you down and leaving you wondering what just hit you. At that time, all you can do is recover, readjust and keep carrying forward.

No matter how prepared or unprepared you are, forward is the only choice.

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#40 Coffee with John

I can’t believe I have met with 40 people for Coffee with John, not counting repeats!

I am incredibly grateful to all the individuals that have met up with me. Thank you!

Many of you I only had met once or twice before. Thank you for your time and for being brave to join me in the journey of conversations. I look forward to continue connecting and having great talks while we share a moment together over coffee/tea.

The takeaway from Coffee with John #40: we sometimes tell ourselves, “I am too young, old, or inexperienced,” keeping ourselves from taking a leap to experience something new.

We think because of our age or lack of experience we can’t do this or that. Or we think that we don’t have much to offer or contribute. That’s all rubbish.

We all have value, bringing our unique experience to the table. I know I have to remind myself of this all the time. Don’t let your age or perception of lack of experience keep you from doing anything. I salute those that, despite their reservations, take the leap and jump into something completely new or totally beyond their comfort zone.

You inspire me.

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#39 Coffee with John

Takeaways: honor your word.

I truly appreciate when people say what they commit to doing. “I will let you know soon,” “We will make it happen.” We casually make these type of commitments but never follow up.

So it’s great (and refreshing) when people actually do follow up, even if it’s just to say that they can’t follow through with their original intention.

Another takeaway, it’s key to have self-value and expect others to treat you with respect. That might mean taking a bold stand like uprooting and taking a whole different path in life.

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#38 Coffee with John

The takeaway: don’t over think situations, especially things that are beyond our control.

We over think things, making a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes we just need to be open to the experience and be as best prepared as we can.

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#36 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #36


Takeaway: We all have these notions or benchmarks of what we are supposed to be. Those beliefs dictate our actions and behaviors.

The price is that we mask ourselves and pretend to be someone or something we are not. Be honest to yourself and your being; don’t try to comfort or fit into a specific checked box. As that Bob Marley song says, “free yourself from mental slavery.”

Yes. Different occasions require us to play certain roles but, if you are constantly lying to yourself and others, then you must confront yourself.

In some rare cases, being honest with yourself might mean breaking away completely from what you know. It might mean changing careers, taking on new responsibilities, confronting fears, pursuing that long-lost passion, ending certain habits, among a hundred other things.

I hope we all find the courage to find our true selves. And, in the process, our true passions. Of course, don’t go breaking the law now because deep down inside you believe you are a fun, loving criminal.

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#33 Coffee with John

Takeaway: just as life hits you with unexpected realities, life also gives you welcomed surprises like finding a $1 as you step out of your car or having a great conversation with someone you only met a few weeks back.

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#32 Coffee with John

Takeaway: life is full of unexpected turns.

You might have your plans but life itself has other plans stored for you. All you can do is forge forward and embrace what life puts in front of you.

What other choice do you have but to be brave and keep on rolling?

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Interlude

Always grateful when friends take time to meet up. Nothing like a good cup of coffee over a great conversation with good company. Agradecido (Grateful).