I remember the pain and the unrest that the tragic death of George Floyd brought across the nation.
Recently, I met a resident of Minneapolis who lived and experienced the unrest firsthand. Living a few blocks from where Mr. Floyd died, she and her community of friends and neighbors had to come together and help each other get through those tumultuous events.
Listening to her story as we met virtually for this round of Coffee with John, transformed headlines and statistics into something far more intimate. It brought George Floyd’s story closer, turning it from a distant tragedy into a neighbor’s lived reality.
This is why we must travel, talk to strangers, and make connections beyond the bubbles that surround us.
How can we sympathize and empathize with others when we are only experiencing the world through closed walls — walls we create and are exacerbated by social media algorithms, the news we consume, and the company we select?
I don’t doubt that we can identify and sympathize with strangers, events, and tragedies miles from where we live. Still, when familiar with the people and those affected places, we feel it deeper into the cavities of our hearts.
News of the California fires takes on a different dimension when you’ve walked those trails and spent days in the now-vanished neighborhoods. The burned house with the koi pond isn’t just another far-away tragedy – it becomes visceral, and you feel the despair and gravity of the loss at your core.
Same with areas and communities like Asheville, NC that have been part of your experience. The floods that hit those areas are more than news. Your mind goes to restaurants, friends, art galleries, and shops you visited with your son or girlfriend that might not be there when you visit next time, expanding your understanding of a shared reality.
In writing this, I learned that what I am describing is what sociologists call proximity empathy. The notion is that getting close to people can help us understand them better and develop empathy for their experiences.
The challenge lies in overcoming the barriers to experiencing the world and connecting with people different from us. Perhaps it starts by joining a random meet-up group, reading memoirs from across different walks of life, or, simply, talking to a stranger.
At a time when our nation is more divided than ever, the responsibility of not losing touch with our humanity and sympathy for others falls on all of us.
Coffee With John 