author – Coffee With John

The 100th meet-up! I have arrived at a point of accentuation, a milestone in a journey leading to connections, both old and new in many senses of the word.

I could not have planned for a better companion for this benchmark in my ultimate goal of 150 coffee meet-ups with different people. We caught up for about an hr, talking about our daily lives, kids, and nothing in particular. I typically don’t go into details about my coffee mates but, making the exception here, let me introduce you.

She is a Vassar graduate, an MBA from the University of Michigan, Goldman Sachs alumna, author, consultant, board member of countless organizations, international speaker, the first woman to serve as CEO of the Dominican Republic Stock Exchange (BVRD), making her the first woman to hold such a position in Latin America.

If that was not impressive enough, I am honored and privileged to announce that my coffee mate for my 100th CWJ is at 52 years old getting ready to embark on obtaining a master’s in public administrations from Harvard University. Not only has she gotten accepted into the program, but she has also received the prestigious Presidential Kennedy Fellowship awarded on merit.

But most of all she is my sister-in-law. Our connection is that of shared memories, blood connection between her children and my son, and our deep love for her sister, my wife. We are bounded by an invisible thread of kinship. It is that human connection that transcends the accomplishments, accolades, successes, and all those identifiers/qualifiers/modifiers we carry around as our identities.

On paper, I find we are sometimes intimidated to talk or even approach a person we see with an impressive resume or a life filled with accomplishments after accomplishments, placing them on a pedestal and forgetting that we are all humans with a capacity to bond with each other, even for brief moments. The opposite can also be true where we are the ones thinking we are above a certain level to converse or bond with a person not within our social strata.

We all share that magical thread, the thread of love, suffering, experiencing loss, and all the emotions that makes us human. It is that space where I find beauty in sharing a moment and a conversation. Hope you too find that beautiful space as you step out of yourself and connect with others.

What do I do with the stories people tell me over these meetings? What do I write about after each meeting?

Since those questions have come up on some of my last meetups, let me address them as part of this entry.

Honestly, aside from perhaps informing my write-ups and giving me a window into those joining me, rarely do I write directly about what people tell me. Also, while there are exemptions, rarely do identify my coffee mates

No matter the subject, I treat the conversations as an intimate moment shared among two people. I don’t interview people nor do I feel I am in the position to share other people’s stories.

So what do I write about? Sometimes is about a feeling, an idea sparked by the conversation, or a reflection ignited by my feelings and the experience at the moment. Sometimes the ideas come immediately, and other times,it takes me sitting on and punctuating what I got out of the interaction.

Ultimately, I want to focus on a positive theme/concept inspired by the meeting.

Speaking of, the theme that jumped out to me the most from CWJ#99 is that of resilience. I am always amazed to hear how people have overcome the cards that life has given them.

Stressful, traumatic, and painful events can mark you. Those experiences can lead us to a destructive path or a place where we can’t move from, rendering us stuck in unhealthy patterns, relationships, and emotions of fear, anxiety and stress.

The challenge is always to turn adversity into a beautiful question or quest that goes beyond ourselves, fear, sadness, resentment, guilt, anxiety, or whatever negative emotions we carry into different aspects of our lives.

With all the trauma brought upon the pandemic, that is a challenge we as a collective may be wrestling with as we move into a new norm. I am not going to offer any answers. What I will say is that I hope part of the answers include a path full of discoveries where we can all explore the many big and small possibilities life offers each day, leading to better relations with others and ourselves.

For inspiration, as we all look for a path of resilience, I encourage you to check out the self-published book of poetry (currently only available in Spanish) by Kurma Murrain, my coffee mate for this round. Also, you may check out her blog to learn more about this Colombian native making a mark as a poet and community advocate in Charlotte, NC.

My hope is that poetry and discovering your voice and the artist within you become part of your healing and tools of resilience.

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#100 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

#99 Coffee with John