Tag: cafe

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#50 Coffee with John

Fifty is an epic number.

So it was fitting that Coffee with John #50 was of epic proportions. Not only because it happened in Vegas, but also because it was a gathering of people dear to my heart.

While we did have a semi-official Coffee with John on the last day we were all together, I see this as more of a series of conversations we had over coffee (and other drinks) at different intervals during odd hours of the day/night. Sometimes all of us a group or other times one-on-one.

My biggest takeaway: the value of friendships.

Two of the guys that joined me in Vegas I have known since my teens. One of them has been a close friend since the first month or so since my arrival to this country back in 1985. The other, I met during 8 grade or so.

The third member of this Vegas motley crew was my brother-in-law, whom I have known since he first started dating my sister when I was about 15/16 years old.

(The crew did not necessarily know each other before the Vegas adventure. Two of them have been friends for a while but this was really our first time taking a trip of this proportion together.)

The friendship with each other over the years has been different, depending on where we have been in our lives. Sometimes we have been as close as dirt under nails. Some years, we have barely spoken to each other.

Regardless of differences, various experiences, and physical distance between us, their friendship has always been a constant in my life, even at those intervals when we were not in contact for whatever reason.

That longevity is something that I treasure. I am grateful to have been able to remain friends after all these years with all of them. It doesn’t matter how much time passes before seeing each other, we always pick up as we had seen each other just yesterday.

The other takeaway from this long-extended Coffee with John: take trips with your friends. You might hate each other after or bond like never before. I know I can speak for my friends when I say that we all learned new things about each other, things we never knew about each other before. Nothing earth-shattering. Just about each other’s idiosyncrasies.

So, yes. Value, cultivate your friendships, and plan a trip with close friends. Cultivating and maintaining those friendships takes work at times, but don’t neglect your friendships. That’s my takeaway.

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#49 Coffee with John

Where to begin? This was definitely a special encounter. So many takeaways.


But I guess the one that predominates is be adventurous, take risks.


If my previous post was about learning to say no, this one is about the complete opposite.

We need to let go and learn to say yes to new adventures in our lives. Excuses abound: I am too old; the place it’s too far; I have never been; what if they don’t like me; what will people say, and what about this and that.

At times in our lives, we need to put those concerns aside and just go with the flow. I am not saying to be careless or reckless but sometimes you just need to go for things in life without much thought, if that makes sense.

You never know where those new adventures will lead. You might end up rolling around in an open field, laughing, feeling the grass and ground underneath your body, and sharing a magical, wonderful moment on a sunny, Sunday afternoon — an afternoon and a moment in time that will fill your spirit and body with joy.

That moment of bliss might not last, but it will be etched in your soul, heart, and skin, informing and contributing to your vase of happiness.

So, go out there and be adventurous. That can mean anything, take a new route to work/home, listen to new music, talk to a stranger….the possibilities are endless.
If you do end up undertaking a new adventure in your life, let me know. I would love to hear all about it.

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#46 Coffee with John

Each of the past 46 encounters have been magical. I have met some incredible people, sharing their time and stories with me. I have also gotten to know people better.

I so look forward to continuing on this journey.

My last meet up left me with an even greater appreciation of people’s willingness to spend an hour or two of their time with me.

Waking up to meet someone at 7AM you have only met once for a day is not an agreement most people will undertake…

My takeaway: the most generous and wonderful gift you can give someone is your time and a piece of your vulnerability, honesty, and heart. You never know the imprint you will make in their lives, even if temporary.

Here is a poem my new found friend shared with me on this 7AM meet up:

The Big Heart – Poem by Anne Sexton
Too many things are occurring for even a big heart to hold.’ – From an essay by W. B. Yeats

Big heart,
wide as a watermelon,
but wise as birth,
there is so much abundance
in the people I have:
Max, Lois, Joe, Louise,
Joan, Marie, Dawn,
Arlene, Father Dunne,
and all in their short lives
give to me repeatedly,
in the way the sea
places its many fingers on the shore,
again and again
and they know me,
they help me unravel,
they listen with ears made of conch shells,
they speak back with the wine of the best region.
They are my staff.
They comfort me.

They hear how
the artery of my soul has been severed
and soul is spurting out upon them,
bleeding on them,
messing up their clothes,
dirtying their shoes.
And God is filling me,
though there are times of doubt
as hollow as the Grand Canyon,
still God is filling me.
He is giving me the thoughts of dogs,
the spider in its intricate web,
the sun
in all its amazement,
and a slain ram
that is the glory,
the mystery of great cost,
and my heart,
which is very big,
I promise it is very large,
a monster of sorts,
takes it all in—
all in comes the fury of love.

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#44 Coffee with John

The takeaway: courage and tenacity take many forms and shapes.

We sometimes admire the bravery of others, admiring them for qualities that we might not have or think we don’t.

Not to take anything away from that source of inspiration, but we sometimes do not acknowledge our own acts of bravery and the many roads we have had to take to get us where we stand today.

We are all brave, one way or another. What you have gone through not many would have been able to endure. If there is an area you feel lacking, then draw inspiration from those around you and challenge yourself.

You are able to conquer whatever you want. Not easy at times but who said it would be.

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#43 Coffee with John

Today marked Coffee with John#43.

This was my first time meeting someone since before I left for Colombia. Aside from being busy, I just hadn’t really pursued meeting up with anyone.

Today’s meet up just kind of happened – met a new friend from a networking event I attended last week.

I have to say that I really enjoy talking to people and letting the conversation go where it wants to go.

The takeaway: get comfortable in your own skin. Accept your quirkiness and your whole being.

Sure, there is always areas of our lives that we can improve but you have do that without compromising the essence of what makes you, you.

Love yourself and embrace your “weirdness.”

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Interlude

I had ridiculous amounts of coffee while in Colombia with my siblings, especially with my brother.

We had coffee in the mornings, on the road, at rest stops, at market places..name a place and you would find us there drinking coffee. While not “official” Coffee with John, the take away from those moments: enjoy your family.

Don’t let the years go by to take the time to spend time with your loved ones. It had been 12 years since I had seen my brother and another 30 years since the last time all four of us siblings were together in the same place.

My wife’s last name was Estrella. So this place took a special meaning.

Life happens and things come in the way, but we all need to make the effort. If you don’t have family/siblings, take the time to share with your friends and those you call family. Time is borrowed. Make it count.

My siblings – all together for the first time in close to 30 years.
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#42 Coffee with John

“The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42.”

42 is also known to Lost fans as one of the key numbers deciding the extinction of mankind.

And, no! I did not turn 42 yesterday. The number corresponds to my last Coffee with John before I take off for three weeks on vacation.

Just as the number, the meeting held its own mysteries and served to be an auspicious meetup.

The takeaway: life is filled with beginnings – births, graduations, marriage, parenthood, moving, house ownership, and among the many that life brings.

Sometimes you find yourself taking the journey of a new beginning with a partner, family, or by yourself.

Each beginning can be a journey of unknowns, challenges, and triumphs.

Sometimes the hardest beginnings you undertake by yourself without the comfort of a lifetime partner or the closeness of family or friends. While challenging, if you find yourself facing a new beginning on your own, look at it as an opportunity to find and explore yourself. Get to know yourself and don’t forget to love yourself in the process.

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#40 Coffee with John

I can’t believe I have met with 40 people for Coffee with John, not counting repeats!

I am incredibly grateful to all the individuals that have met up with me. Thank you!

Many of you I only had met once or twice before. Thank you for your time and for being brave to join me in the journey of conversations. I look forward to continue connecting and having great talks while we share a moment together over coffee/tea.

The takeaway from Coffee with John #40: we sometimes tell ourselves, “I am too young, old, or inexperienced,” keeping ourselves from taking a leap to experience something new.

We think because of our age or lack of experience we can’t do this or that. Or we think that we don’t have much to offer or contribute. That’s all rubbish.

We all have value, bringing our unique experience to the table. I know I have to remind myself of this all the time. Don’t let your age or perception of lack of experience keep you from doing anything. I salute those that, despite their reservations, take the leap and jump into something completely new or totally beyond their comfort zone.

You inspire me.

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#39 Coffee with John

Takeaways: honor your word.

I truly appreciate when people say what they commit to doing. “I will let you know soon,” “We will make it happen.” We casually make these type of commitments but never follow up.

So it’s great (and refreshing) when people actually do follow up, even if it’s just to say that they can’t follow through with their original intention.

Another takeaway, it’s key to have self-value and expect others to treat you with respect. That might mean taking a bold stand like uprooting and taking a whole different path in life.

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#38 Coffee with John

The takeaway: don’t over think situations, especially things that are beyond our control.

We over think things, making a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes we just need to be open to the experience and be as best prepared as we can.