Tag: challenge

Posted on

#120 Coffee with John

I don’t do Japanese food.

They don’t make music like they used to.

I only listen to 80s music.

I don’t read. 

I don’t travel outside the country.

We are all guilty of making a variation of these claims. I know I am guilty of it. I only tried mussels for the first time about two years ago! 

We get entrenched in our ways without ever challenging our myopic ways, further building barriers as the years pass. Every day, we take a risk when we put our feet on the ground, yet we refuse to take small risks for no good reason; I challenge you to take the risk of letting go of your preconceived notions and self-imposed limitations. 

Unless bounded by dietary/religious/health reasons, go to that (insert name of the restaurant you have never tried); go wild and have mushrooms (not the psychedelic kind, mind you); get your passport in order and travel; listen for a whole week to different music outside your comfort zone; watch a movie you would not typically watch. Challenge your assertions and lose yourself in the experience. Do I have any guarantees or promises for you? 

Look, you may come away either reaffirming your previous assumptions or gaining a new perspective and appreciation. How will you know if you don’t dare?

Is it scary to let go and try something? Yes! It can be frightening and terrifying.  

Is it easy to let go of long-held attitudes and behaviors? No. 

That is the challenge and beauty of the unknown, waiting for us to take that step. We can expand our experience, increase brain plasticity, and enrich our lives by taking small yet powerful actions that engage us in the world.

I thank my coffee mate for Coffee with John#120 for reminding me and inspiring this takeaway. Let the unknown beckon us.

Posted on

#98 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

“Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take…“

Coffee with John #98 reminded me of the first lines in David Whyte’s poem, “Start Close In.”

98 coffees later and I still get nervous at times when I am meeting a person for the first time. Will the conversation go well? Will I be able to be present and be somewhat coherent? Will I make a fool out of myself? What if things don’t go well or become awkward?

How many times do we let those types of doom-like questions prevent us from taking that step we don’t want to take? From saying “I love you,” drawing a will, having a difficult conversation with another or yourself, going out to a venue by yourself, taking a class, to launching a new business, we have so many areas in our personal and professional lives where taking that initial, first step can completely enrich and alter our lives, even for a brief moment. Yet, how many times do we not take that crucial step, completely limiting our experiences and sabotaging ourselves out of fear or nervousness?

I have over the years taking that stet I so dreaded in different areas of my life. For the most part, the rewards have been ten-fold. Yoga comes to mind as an example. I had always wanted to do it but it took a friend of my wife to accompany me to the first few classes before yoga became a staple in my life. Taking that step has led to many friendships and experiences, including this round of coffee.

I know I have many aspects of my life where I need to nudge myself still to take that step I don’t want to take. Avoiding conflict to keep “the peace” is one of those. In some areas taking that first step is easier than others. Other times, it takes a lot more mustering. And, of course, we all have circumstances where we might need to take that first time many times over before we get grounded.

I invite you to join me in challenging yourself in taking that step in an area in your life – take that step you don’t want to take. In an area of your life that you see as the appropriate time, with courage and love, take your own step on your terms.