Tag: Charlotte

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#126 Coffee with John

What do you think of Charlotte as a community?

A recent comment made me reflect on my own experiences and sense of community here.

My coffee mates for this round of Coffee with John (CWJ), Alejandra and Pedro (Somos dos Universos/We are two Universes), share with me the strong sense of community we have found in the Queen City.

For two hours or so, we touched on different topics including their journey across the US, from the East Coast to the West – an adventure they set out to shortly after they arrived in the United States. They lived in New York, California, and Florida before settling in Charlotte. A common thread emerged: their strong sense of community.

In their short time living here, they have become an integral part of a thriving network of artists, entrepreneurs, and leaders through their social media and non-profit ventures, and their dedication to volunteering and supporting others.

As we chatted, they greeted a few familiar faces walking into the cafe. One woman, who was in the process of moving back to Charlotte after some time away, was introduced to us by one of those familiar faces. She shared a different perspective. Having lived here for two years previously, she felt the city lacked a sense of community.

Experiences can differ for so many reasons. A place that holds romantic notions for some can be a source of sadness and heartbreak for others. While I can’t speak for this woman’s experience, I can share my own. Like Alejandra and Pedro, I have found a welcoming and generous community in Charlotte.

The people I have met throughout my 17 years here have been my rock. When my wife was going through treatment, the community’s kindness and generosity helped us weather emotional and financial hardship. After her passing, the same support system, along with new connections, helped me through my grief with hugs, kind words, and practical acts like checking in and sending movie gift cards. When I ventured into projects like Coffee with John or Latinx Portraits, the community responded with unwavering support and faith in my abilities. I have had strangers sit with me for a cup of coffee. I have had an exhibit of my work. I have had the opportunity to receive a grant in support of my photography.

I’ve met wonderful people in New York and Florida, too. But the level of community I’ve experienced in Charlotte surpasses anything I found in the Big Apple or the Sunshine State. Alejandra and Pedro embody the spirit of community I cherish in this city.

I hope anyone moving here for the first time or returning can find the kindness, love, opportunities, and support I know Charlotte offers.

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#99 Coffee with John

What do I do with the stories people tell me over these meetings? What do I write about after each meeting?

Since those questions have come up on some of my last meetups, let me address them as part of this entry.

Honestly, aside from perhaps informing my write-ups and giving me a window into those joining me, rarely do I write directly about what people tell me. Also, while there are exemptions, rarely do identify my coffee mates

No matter the subject, I treat the conversations as an intimate moment shared among two people. I don’t interview people nor do I feel I am in the position to share other people’s stories.

So what do I write about? Sometimes is about a feeling, an idea sparked by the conversation, or a reflection ignited by my feelings and the experience at the moment. Sometimes the ideas come immediately, and other times,it takes me sitting on and punctuating what I got out of the interaction.

Ultimately, I want to focus on a positive theme/concept inspired by the meeting.

Speaking of, the theme that jumped out to me the most from CWJ#99 is that of resilience. I am always amazed to hear how people have overcome the cards that life has given them.

Stressful, traumatic, and painful events can mark you. Those experiences can lead us to a destructive path or a place where we can’t move from, rendering us stuck in unhealthy patterns, relationships, and emotions of fear, anxiety and stress.

The challenge is always to turn adversity into a beautiful question or quest that goes beyond ourselves, fear, sadness, resentment, guilt, anxiety, or whatever negative emotions we carry into different aspects of our lives.

With all the trauma brought upon the pandemic, that is a challenge we as a collective may be wrestling with as we move into a new norm. I am not going to offer any answers. What I will say is that I hope part of the answers include a path full of discoveries where we can all explore the many big and small possibilities life offers each day, leading to better relations with others and ourselves.

For inspiration, as we all look for a path of resilience, I encourage you to check out the self-published book of poetry (currently only available in Spanish) by Kurma Murrain, my coffee mate for this round. Also, you may check out her blog to learn more about this Colombian native making a mark as a poet and community advocate in Charlotte, NC.

My hope is that poetry and discovering your voice and the artist within you become part of your healing and tools of resilience.

Cafe, amor y sueƱo americano

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#96 Coffee with John

The underbelly of society is riddled with darkness and realities far from ours.

Substance abuse, poverty, sex crimes, domestic violence, and hundred other maladies lurking under our noses. We don’t have to go hundreds of miles away to encounter the underbelly. My city, Charlotte, ranks #1 in North Carolina in human trafficking – North Carolina ranks 10 in the nation. That’s only one reality I had no clue about until recently.

Once we notice, the pain can be overwhelming and daunting to carry. Like my coffee mate for this round expressed to me, all we can do sometimes is pull aside on the road and cry for humanity and all the injustices in this world.

But what do we do in the long term? I wish I had an answer. All I can offer is for us to show up, fully present in our lives, communities, circles, and in the lives of our loved ones with love, understanding, kindness, perseverance, and forgiveness.

We all have the power to make our communities a better place without having to take on the burden of saving and curing the many injustices in the world. Sometimes all it takes is showing love and kindness. And that takes many forms – volunteering, creating communities, looking out for our neighbors, donating to a good cause, getting dirty in a fight for a cause near to your heart, or not giving up on loved ones when they need us the most.

PS: To learn how you can combat human trafficking, visit

Ways You Can Help Fight Human Trafficking

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#77 Coffee with John

Do places hold positive/negative energy? Do certain spots possess magical qualities affecting our moods?

I have certainly experienced the energy flow of certain places. Two recent places come to mind. The first, Tayrona National Park, in northern Colombia. The other,
Latta Nature Center and Preserve. I am not going to tell you what I experienced but I definitely felt the vibrations of those places.

In this last round, as we were wrapping up, my coffee mate invited me to sit at a trunk/bench located in Freedom Park to see if I felt the energy of this magical spot for her.

That experience brings me to my takeaway: no matter how much you might try, you will never be able to experience or understand a person’s perspective or how they see and experience the world around them.

The question is how much are you willing to lean on trying to understand their viewpoint without a desire to change their minds or impose your own experience on them?

Some issues, circumstances, situations are easy to let go of your perspective and jump into the viewpoint of the other person. Other issues, well, not so easy to lean on, especially these days.

Hatred, racism, violence, bigotry, and arrogance are issues I have no room to lean on. Nor could I try to understand those driven by those forces. Still, for the most part, we do a disservice when we close ourselves without at least hearing and putting ourselves in the shoes of those we love and within our community.

I know I have, as of recent, been guilty of imposing my own feelings and perspectives when I should have spoken less and just sat and reflected for a moment where the other person was at the time with their feelings and emotions.

Perhaps, if we try to lean on and see the world as others see – without judgment and with more empathy – we can at least come to new understandings about ourselves while providing the space for others to be heard and be seen.