Tag: coffee porn

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#122 Coffee with John

I have great respect for the past. If you don’t know where you’ve come from, you don’t know where you’re going. I have respect for the past, but I’m a person of the moment. I’m here, and I do my best to be completely centered at the place I’m at, then I go forward to the next place.” — Maya Angelou

It’s a funny thing, our past. Does it define us? Does it dictate our present? Does it mark us with a scarlet letter to carry our whole lives? 

I don’t know if I developed the notion of the past not having any bearing on me after reading Bruce Lee’s Tao of Jeet Kune Do entering my twenties, but for a long time, I held that notion. “I have no past,” I would tell myself. 

Of course, I developed a lot of life philosophies after reading that book and during that early time of my formation, thinking I had unraveled the mysteries of life. 

But I am digressing, misguided or not, the past is a hard lover/partner/treasure/friend/foe to dismiss entirely.

We need to come to terms and make amends with whatever cards the past might have dealt us. Others might carry and have in their minds an unforgiving imprint of who we were at some point in our lives, reminding us of faults, shortcomings, sins, and transgressions. Heck, sometimes, you don’t need others to remind us. We are all well-versed in hitting those sweet melancholic notes to bring us down. 

The past might have marked us and influenced our direction in life, but the voices of the past have no room in keeping us prisoners to a skin we have long shed (if we indeed have shed that skin).     

I share Maya Angelou’s sentiment. I respect the past. It has shaped, influenced, provided a starting point in my life, and given me sweet memories, along with soured ones, too. 

But, ultimately, for most of us, what we have in front of us and how we choose to live our lives today, matters more. For others, without trying to sound too dramatic or religious, the road to salvation might not be so forgiving; your penance will be your cross to bear, each day an opportunity to amend the past and those left behind in the wake of our actions/inactions.

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#113 Coffee with John

When was the last time you did something for pure joy?

Most kids do that all the time. They might have some initial trepidation, but they go for the adventure, letting themselves be carried away by the moment without care or worries. They run down the hill with open arms, laughing and being present.

As adults, we tend not to be easily swayed by that hill, holding back and overthinking: it’s too steep, and what if I fall; my shoes will get dirty; I don’t have the proper attire; I will have to come back up; and a thousand other thoughts crossing our minds before we turn our backs away from that magnificent mountain top beckoning us to take the chance.

Am I an adventurous person? Have I always been adventurous?

I don’t know if I have a check box to answer either of those questions.

I have turned my back and stepped away from a promise of an adventure many times. Fear, skepticism, mistrust, and lack of confidence have been the culprits. Yet, I feel I have taken many steps forward in following a path open to exploring and running down valleys of fun wherever they take me.

It doesn’t mean my old friend trepidation stops visiting with vows of seduction, tempting me to take the bait to rest in a cradle of comfort and safety. A case in point: a few days before my Coffee with John #113 that old acquaintance came knocking hard.

No good reason or anything to do with my coffee mate but dread was getting the best of me. I don’t know why.

Perhaps my hesitation came on the heels of pondering the question a few weeks back of why I was continuing this project (a question that each new meeting provides new steadfast grounds to forge forward).

The meeting reminded me to let go of reasons, justifications, fears. Trust and run the mountain top with open arms to all possibilities.

If I had canceled or postponed the meeting, I would have robbed myself of a joyful conversation, a good coffee, and the chance to get to know an intriguing lawyer/business owner with a penchant for history, making a difference and leaving a mark in the landscape of Charlotte.

Spread your arms wide and embrace the adventure of everyday life.