Tag: coping

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#52 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #52 was a perfect combination of a Sunday breakfast at a Colombian restaurant, which I had been craving for ages, and coffee afterward at Amélie’s.

The food was great at the restaurant, the coffee not so much. (You would think, Colombian place=good coffee, but there you have it.)


What was great all throughout was the conversation. I have to say that I truly have enjoyed each and every coffee meet-up.

Each meeting has been different, some light and others, emotionally heavy. I am always enriched by each experience. I am honored and grateful that people have taken the time to meet with me. And I am deeply honored when people open up and decide to share their personal stories with me.

So, to answer the question, yes. I will continue to meet people for Coffee with John for the next foreseeable future. I do have a magic number in mind to culminate but that’s a long way still.

My takeaway from Coffee with John #52 is that I really enjoy talking and learning about people. I like connecting and sharing.

The other takeaway, which I attribute 100% to what my partner in crime on this coffee meet up said: life doesn’t happen after you accomplish XY&Z.

We often think that our lives will somehow magically be better after we retire, move, get that degree, change jobs, meet that special person, get that promotion, or whatever we think we need to achieve to truly enjoy ourselves and our lives.

Life is happening right now. Whatever you are in the midst of, enjoy the journey. I am not saying don’t have goals. Goals are part of the life path you are taking.
Just don’t think your life will begin after you accomplish that goal. All I am saying is don’t forget yourself and others while striving to achieve those benchmarks in your life.

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#45 Coffee with John

Running behind these posts: Coffee with John #45

I had a few takeaways from this encounter. Now I am just trying to remember them.

First, a takeaway for me: I need to expand my definition of spiritual. Or better yet, I need to define it for myself. The spectra of meanings are vast out there; the more I meet people, the range widens.

Second: sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. We give or want to attach meaning to certain events/circumstances/coincidences when maybe what we need to do is be in that moment and let the mysteries of the universe work themselves out.

Last takeaway: grateful for people willing to meet up with me over coffee, tea or whatever they prefer. I truly appreciate each encounter.

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#27 Coffee with John

The best part of Coffee with John: connecting with people and hearing their stories.

I recently came across a prayer on a book I was given. Part of the prayer goes like this:

“O divine master grant that I may

not so much seek to be consoled as to console

to be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love.”

Connecting with people during my Coffee with John has been for me about understanding, loving, and putting aside my own preconceptions or expectations of what the conversations should be about and lead to – friendships, epiphanies, edification, salvation or whatever.

In that sense, the prayer resonates with me. It’s not about me, my circumstances or wishes. Not to say that I don’t have to remind myself of this each time I walk out of the door to meet someone over coffee. I do.

Still, the more I connect with people, I like to believe I am opening myself to be more resilient, understanding, loving and just more present.

The takeaway today: sometimes life gives you a free croissant. Take it and enjoy it.

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#26 Coffee with John

From early this week. The takeaway: enjoy the spur- of the- moment. While visiting a family friend and doing errands on this particular day, Coffee with John just happened. Typically, I have to coordinate with people to meet up and separate a date for us to meet up for coffee. So it was nice that we just ran with the moment and the situation allowed for it.

Coffee with John Rosie

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#25 Coffee with John

I meant to post this last week but I am just running behind.

This session was particularly eventful for a variety of reasons. The main being that my friend surprised me with special Coffee with John mugs. See image below:

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The image on the mug is that of my tattoo, a tattoo that I had conceived on my mind years, years ago but only got it done recently. I am not going to elaborate on the meaning as it is long but all I can say to you is that it has a lot of meaning for me.

Anyways, the takeaway, if I am remembering correctly what I had on my mind this particular morning meeting: learn from our friends.

My friend has always emphasized to me the power of asking for what you want. I am paraphrasing here but his motto is, “asking is free. If you get a no, so what!”

I am going to practice that more. Don’t be afraid. Ask for what you want.

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#23 Coffee with John

The last day of 2018 I spent the afternoon with one of my favorite persons in the whole wide world: my sister. We even got the chance to do Coffee with John after she accompanied me to court to do some adulting stuff.
 
The takeaway of the afternoon… actually, a few takeaways: 1) to my surprise, the courthouse is opened on the 31st of December; 2) Bonnie at the courthouse estate procedures in section in Charlotte, NC rocks- she was kind, helpful and knowledgeable; and 3) just treasure your time with your siblings.
 
I am grateful to have a great relationship with each of my three siblings. Not everyone does but if you do, take the time away from everything and invite your sister or brother to an outing, just the two of you. And if you don’t have a good relationship, I hope you can mend those ties.
PS: Update 2021 – I actually miscounted. This would have been Coffee with John 24. I totally forgot to do the takeaway from Coffee with John #23coffee with john - sister sandra
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#22 Coffee with John

I am glad I went for my Coffee with John this morning. I had a great conversation with a passionate, intriguing, and energetic individual.
 
Still, it took effort to get out. I just woke up with a dark cloud hanging over me without much desire to interact with anyone.
 
The meeting went well and I came back to get ready for the rest of the day, including preparing the family meal of the day. While I was at it, I happened to catch a story on NPR about an unlikely friendship: that of the basketball player, Charles Barkley, and a Chinese chemist/scientist in Muscatine, Iowa named, Lin Wang.
 
I was just listening to the story with interest but without any emotional attachment. That changed when the story mentioned that Mr. Lin Wang had passed.
 
The mention of palliative care and some other details of the story just brought a wave of emotions, hitting me instantly and entrapping me in a swirl of tears.
 
Next thing you know I was just crying, sharing in the pain of Mr. Wang’s family and feeling my own unrepairable sadness.
 
I needed that cry. It felt cathartic.
 
I guess the takeaway of this morning in its entirety: honor your emotions. Let them come as they come.
 
Also, human connections have no boundaries. Take the time to connect with people, even when it takes effort on your part. You never know what kind of friendships you will cultivate.
 
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#20 Coffee with John

Always a pleasure to kick off the day early with a cup of coffee and in good company. The takeaway of today’s Coffee with John: laughter. Sometimes we just need to laugh at the absurdity of life situations.

The moment we are born, life throws this big cosmic joke on us: our own demise.

We take ourselves and our “accomplishment” way too serious, forgetting the joke. Life is much brighter if we have a sense of humor and don’t take ourselves too seriously.

The other takeaway: forge your own path, even if it means rebelling against all you know.

Coffee with John - Sandra Japon

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#18 Coffee with John

No picture from the last Coffee with John but what I do have is the takeaway, which is courage.

It takes courage to persevere and stand tall while the winds of life blow at you in all, unexpected directions.

It’s easy to fold to frustrations and emotions (as valid as they might be). It doesn’t mean that while you face situations all will go smoothly or as you planned. It probably won’t. All you can do is continue on your journey.

 

Coffee with Giovanni and Donna

PS: If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one as well and want another perspective, I encourage you to read the following blog: https://stilliriseinnc.org/

 

 

 

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#17 Coffee with John

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Another ménage à trois. Sometimes coffee is just better with three people.

This was also another Converse Coffee with John meeting. That’s two in a row with different people.

I am telling you: all the cool kids wear Converse. They probably converse, too.

Today’s takeaway: perseverance.

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Life throws obstacles, challenges and a myriad of things at us, and all we can do is march forward to turn the page. That might mean starting a whole new chapter in your life, one that’s only beginning to be written by you.