Tag: david whyte

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#98 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

“Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take…“

Coffee with John #98 reminded me of the first lines in David Whyte’s poem, “Start Close In.”

98 coffees later and I still get nervous at times when I am meeting a person for the first time. Will the conversation go well? Will I be able to be present and be somewhat coherent? Will I make a fool out of myself? What if things don’t go well or become awkward?

How many times do we let those types of doom-like questions prevent us from taking that step we don’t want to take? From saying “I love you,” drawing a will, having a difficult conversation with another or yourself, going out to a venue by yourself, taking a class, to launching a new business, we have so many areas in our personal and professional lives where taking that initial, first step can completely enrich and alter our lives, even for a brief moment. Yet, how many times do we not take that crucial step, completely limiting our experiences and sabotaging ourselves out of fear or nervousness?

I have over the years taking that stet I so dreaded in different areas of my life. For the most part, the rewards have been ten-fold. Yoga comes to mind as an example. I had always wanted to do it but it took a friend of my wife to accompany me to the first few classes before yoga became a staple in my life. Taking that step has led to many friendships and experiences, including this round of coffee.

I know I have many aspects of my life where I need to nudge myself still to take that step I don’t want to take. Avoiding conflict to keep “the peace” is one of those. In some areas taking that first step is easier than others. Other times, it takes a lot more mustering. And, of course, we all have circumstances where we might need to take that first time many times over before we get grounded.

I invite you to join me in challenging yourself in taking that step in an area in your life – take that step you don’t want to take. In an area of your life that you see as the appropriate time, with courage and love, take your own step on your terms.

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#93 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #93

My Coffee with John (CWJ) mate for this round I met recently via an old post of a David Whyte poem that I had shared on a Facebook North Carolina Singles Group I had briefly joined and left, circa April 2020.

Somehow, as she was searching for David Whyte, she found the old post, leading her to recently contact me through my Coffee with John Facebook page. After a few exchanges, she kindly accepted my invitation to meet up as part of CWJ.

We talked about what led to our meeting and, among other things, discussed in passing David Whyte’s Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.

In this book – a read I recommend you emerge yourself in -, Whyte takes everyday words and beautifully gives them a rebirth, expanding on their etymology and significance.

In the spirit of that book and the nature of this round of CWJ, here is my reflection/takeaway from this last coffee encounter with the word stranger as the anchor:

A Stranger

Who/what is a stranger?

A random act of generosity offered to you at a time of crisis with no reciprocity required by a person who happens to notice you at that moment when you are feeling alone with the void of familiar faces around  

A person exchanging a smile with you as they pass you, never to see them again

A passerby generously stopping to give you kind and helpful words as you seek their guidance to help you find your destination

A begrudged individual throwing insults your way because somehow your looks or way of being has offended their sensitivities.

A friend/lover/old neighbor no longer part of your life…  

I have met a lot of strangers as part of  CWJ. Some have moved into the friendship category – until they become strangers again shall our season of friendship end.

Smiles, acts of kindness, helpful words, and ephemeral moments to cherish have all been exchanged during my coffee encounters, a journey I cherish and continue to cultivate and nurture.