So awesome to have heard from so many of you in response to my video yesterday, either through the comment section or privately. Makes me happy to hear that many of you are well, healthy, and thriving despite the many challenges facing us. Also, I thank those that reached out and shared with me your challenges. I am honored that you shared your story and the tribulations in your life with me. I thank you for your courage in sharing. Know that you are not alone. Here my response to yesterday’s post
#63 Coffee with John – Virtual Edition
“How do we set a meeting with you?” was the message I found on my Messenger.
I can’t say that I know the sender well, or at all. They were friends with my wife. I remember seeing them once or twice before but no real interaction beyond pleasantries.
I replied to the message and within a few days, we were having Coffee with John #63, virtual edition. The beauty – and the takeaway – is that I came into the situation empty, no judgments, no expectations, no attachments to any outcomes. I opened myself to the experience, fully.
We had a great conversation lasting more than an hour. I learned about this person’s family, experiences, beliefs, aspirations. We shared a moment, a moment that might not have an overall significance in our lives but it was a moment of two strangers coming together connecting in a world that seems disconnected, disjointed, and alienated. The experience enriched me as a person, adding to my morning routine and expanding my knowledge and network.
Be open to possibilities. Come empty to situations without attachments. You never know how those experiences will change or contribute to your well-being. In the end, life is a sum of moments.
#62 Coffee with John
“I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let’s work our love and know each other more fully.” Mark Nepo
My first virtual Coffee with John since the lock-down/quarantine began I shared with a friend of more than 24 years. She is my sister from another mother. My Puerto Rican sista!
This woman has had my back more times than I can count. While in college, she saved my ass countless times from starving with all of her extra meal points. My first official job after graduating I owe to her. If I had a Board Committee, she has been the Vice President, giving me advice, helping me when I have been down, and just being an incredible friend all throughout the twenty-plus years that we have known each other. Her acts of kindness have humbled me and, hopefully, made me a better friend to people.
The takeaway after our three-hour conversation is that there is not enough time in a lifespan to truly know someone. Over the course of our talk, we discovered new things about each other. Nothing deeply revealing or shocking but just new facts and quirks, adding and enriching an already rich friendship.
We don’t let people see aspects of ourselves either because the opportunity never presents itself or we refuse for reasons that we only know. Also, we limit ourselves in seeing or truly getting to know someone because of our own blinders, fears, and stories we carry. The time to change that is now.
We are experiencing an incredibly challenging and taxing time in our history with uncertainty looming at every corner. If you can and are in a position to do so, I encourage you to get to know people in your life in a whole different way. You might never get a chance like this again in a lifetime. Get a book of questions to ask, spend more time with loved ones, and/or get lost in their worlds. Let them see you and let them freely express themselves so you can see them, truly see them.
#33 Coffee with John
Takeaway: just as life hits you with unexpected realities, life also gives you welcomed surprises like finding a $1 as you step out of your car or having a great conversation with someone you only met a few weeks back.
#28 Coffee with John
January 30, 2019
Another delightful Coffee with John this morning.
The takeaway: the world is vast, not only terms of geography but also in terms of possibilities, experiences, and in the stories we all carry. Explore the world around you, meet new people, take a drive to new areas.
#22 Coffee with John
I am glad I went for my Coffee with John this morning. I had a great conversation with a passionate, intriguing, and energetic individual.
Still, it took effort to get out. I just woke up with a dark cloud hanging over me without much desire to interact with anyone.
The meeting went well and I came back to get ready for the rest of the day, including preparing the family meal of the day. While I was at it, I happened to catch a story on NPR about an unlikely friendship: that of the basketball player, Charles Barkley, and a Chinese chemist/scientist in Muscatine, Iowa named, Lin Wang.
I was just listening to the story with interest but without any emotional attachment. That changed when the story mentioned that Mr. Lin Wang had passed.
The mention of palliative care and some other details of the story just brought a wave of emotions, hitting me instantly and entrapping me in a swirl of tears.
Next thing you know I was just crying, sharing in the pain of Mr. Wang’s family and feeling my own unrepairable sadness.
I needed that cry. It felt cathartic.
I guess the takeaway of this morning in its entirety: honor your emotions. Let them come as they come.
Also, human connections have no boundaries. Take the time to connect with people, even when it takes effort on your part. You never know what kind of friendships you will cultivate.
#18 Coffee with John
No picture from the last Coffee with John but what I do have is the takeaway, which is courage.
It takes courage to persevere and stand tall while the winds of life blow at you in all, unexpected directions.
It’s easy to fold to frustrations and emotions (as valid as they might be). It doesn’t mean that while you face situations all will go smoothly or as you planned. It probably won’t. All you can do is continue on your journey.
PS: If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one as well and want another perspective, I encourage you to read the following blog: https://stilliriseinnc.org/
#17 Coffee with John
Another ménage à trois. Sometimes coffee is just better with three people.
This was also another Converse Coffee with John meeting. That’s two in a row with different people.
I am telling you: all the cool kids wear Converse. They probably converse, too.
Today’s takeaway: perseverance.
Life throws obstacles, challenges and a myriad of things at us, and all we can do is march forward to turn the page. That might mean starting a whole new chapter in your life, one that’s only beginning to be written by you.
#16 Coffee with John
After a short hiatus, I restarted coffee with John today (November 27, 2018). Today’s rhythm of the conversation flowed, carrying us from topic to topic and making us unaware of time.
The takeaway: Enjoy the moment.
Also, get yourself a pair of Converse. All the cool kids are doing it. But not a requirement to have coffee with me.
#15 Coffee with John
Getting up this morning under this rainy and cold weather was challenging to say the least. Only motive was that I had already committed to meeting for Coffee with John.
I tell you what though?
It was utterly, 100% worth it.
No amount of sleep could have made up for the wonderful time I had talking and getting to know better an individual that is just radiant and amazing on so many levels.
The takeaway: a good conversation is priceless, especially over a good cup of coffee.
Coffee With John 