Tag: family

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#79 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

Gratefulness comes to mind as the takeaway for this installment of CWJ.

I am blessed to have family, friends, and people in my life that genuinely care and have and continue to be there for me and my kiddo with their love, kindness, and friendship.

My coffee mate for this round is among those special angels. She is my cuña, my sister-in-law. Over the years, we have gotten along well. What truly solidified our bond transpired a month or two before Lari – my wife, her sister – left this plane to roam and dance in the outer cosmos.

Leaving her family and hectic life back in Florida, my cuña came on separate times to spent time with us, helping us while we were in the thin-and-thick of things. Aside from helping with the day-to-day functions of the house, more importantly, she was there for Lari, my kid, and myself.

During those separate occasions, we shared moments of laughter amid a difficult period for all of us. The bond she built with my kid at the time continues today. The following summer after Lari passed, she and her family took my kid on a vacation to the Dominican Republic that he still recalls fondly.

All those thoughts and more came to mind last week or so when we shared a conversation over coffee for an “official” CWJ.

I was left feeling grateful. Lean on the power of gratefulness and cherish those that bring that light into your life.

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#62 Coffee with John

“I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let’s work our love and know each other more fully.” Mark Nepo

My first virtual Coffee with John since the lock-down/quarantine began I shared with a friend of more than 24 years. She is my sister from another mother. My Puerto Rican sista!

This woman has had my back more times than I can count. While in college, she saved my ass countless times from starving with all of her extra meal points. My first official job after graduating I owe to her. If I had a Board Committee, she has been the Vice President, giving me advice, helping me when I have been down, and just being an incredible friend all throughout the twenty-plus years that we have known each other. Her acts of kindness have humbled me and, hopefully, made me a better friend to people.

The takeaway after our three-hour conversation is that there is not enough time in a lifespan to truly know someone. Over the course of our talk, we discovered new things about each other. Nothing deeply revealing or shocking but just new facts and quirks, adding and enriching an already rich friendship.

We don’t let people see aspects of ourselves either because the opportunity never presents itself or we refuse for reasons that we only know. Also, we limit ourselves in seeing or truly getting to know someone because of our own blinders, fears, and stories we carry. The time to change that is now.

We are experiencing an incredibly challenging and taxing time in our history with uncertainty looming at every corner. If you can and are in a position to do so, I encourage you to get to know people in your life in a whole different way. You might never get a chance like this again in a lifetime. Get a book of questions to ask, spend more time with loved ones, and/or get lost in their worlds. Let them see you and let them freely express themselves so you can see them, truly see them.

My sister from another mother
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#25 Coffee with John

I meant to post this last week but I am just running behind.

This session was particularly eventful for a variety of reasons. The main being that my friend surprised me with special Coffee with John mugs. See image below:

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The image on the mug is that of my tattoo, a tattoo that I had conceived on my mind years, years ago but only got it done recently. I am not going to elaborate on the meaning as it is long but all I can say to you is that it has a lot of meaning for me.

Anyways, the takeaway, if I am remembering correctly what I had on my mind this particular morning meeting: learn from our friends.

My friend has always emphasized to me the power of asking for what you want. I am paraphrasing here but his motto is, “asking is free. If you get a no, so what!”

I am going to practice that more. Don’t be afraid. Ask for what you want.

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#23 Coffee with John

The last day of 2018 I spent the afternoon with one of my favorite persons in the whole wide world: my sister. We even got the chance to do Coffee with John after she accompanied me to court to do some adulting stuff.
 
The takeaway of the afternoon… actually, a few takeaways: 1) to my surprise, the courthouse is opened on the 31st of December; 2) Bonnie at the courthouse estate procedures in section in Charlotte, NC rocks- she was kind, helpful and knowledgeable; and 3) just treasure your time with your siblings.
 
I am grateful to have a great relationship with each of my three siblings. Not everyone does but if you do, take the time away from everything and invite your sister or brother to an outing, just the two of you. And if you don’t have a good relationship, I hope you can mend those ties.
PS: Update 2021 – I actually miscounted. This would have been Coffee with John 24. I totally forgot to do the takeaway from Coffee with John #23coffee with john - sister sandra