I truly appreciate when people say what they commit to doing. “I will let you know soon,” “We will make it happen.” We casually make these type of commitments but never follow up.
So it’s great (and refreshing) when people actually do follow up, even if it’s just to say that they can’t follow through with their original intention.
Another takeaway, it’s key to have self-value and expect others to treat you with respect. That might mean taking a bold stand like uprooting and taking a whole different path in life.
Takeaway: just as life hits you with unexpected realities, life also gives you welcomed surprises like finding a $1 as you step out of your car or having a great conversation with someone you only met a few weeks back.
Yesterday marked the first weekend I ever had a Coffee with John.
Typically, I meet up with people during the morning hours of the week.
The weekends are the days to do the cleaning of the house, getting things ready for the week, attending this or that event, or just tackling some sort of project I have created for myself – organize this, paint that, or just catch up with work, if needed. Always something, right?
This weekend, for the first in a while, I didn’t feel like doing any of the above. I felt tired and I was not in the best frame of mind – just stuck on my own story, you know?
Now, was I looking forward to a virtual coffee on a Sunday afternoon?
Yes, and no. Yes, because the person is someone I love dearly and had
not spoken to them in many years. And no, because I was just feeling
lethargic and irritated at the world.
The hour came and I am glad I got out of my head.
But that’s not the only takeaway. What kept popping in my mind afterwards was how we gamble with time.
We think we have all this time to have that coffee with an old friend;
take that one class we always been meaning to tackle; undertake and
conquer that alluding home project; visit all the places in our list of
countries to see and experience; call that one relative you have been
meaning to call in the last three months…the list is endless, as long
as the excuses not to tackle them. We gamble and think we will get to
those things, eventually.
Perhaps, we will. Maybe we will live for 100 years. Still, even then, I bet you, we will still have not done all the little things we put aside for no good reason.
Not to say that we all now need to get into a race against time, running wild with no regards for the future or our responsibilities.
That would be fruitless. All I can say is that we gamble with time. The irony is that we think we don’t have the time to do all the little things we say we want to do. So we just put them aside, for another more auspicious opportunity that might never come.
I don’t know if this is true but I remember coming across somewhere about certain cultures that treat each interaction with each other as if the last one, with no guarantee of a future meeting. For me, there is something beautiful about that.
Makes me cherish people more, appreciate
the day-to-day, and push myself to get out of my own head to just do one
of those little things I have always wanted to do or have meant to do.
We all make our gamble with time.
Coffee with John number thirty-something (I had lost count when I originally wrote the note).
The takeaway: gratefulness. We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
I am grateful to everyone that has said
yes to meet me. I am grateful for your time, your stories, and your
boldness. Thank you for sharing, taking the time to meet, and for giving me your warmth.
I look forward to connecting and having more conversation over coffee (or tea).
The takeaway: the world is vast, not only terms of geography but also in terms of possibilities, experiences, and in the stories we all carry. Explore the world around you, meet new people, take a drive to new areas.
The best part of Coffee with John: connecting with people and hearing their stories.
I recently came across a prayer on a book I was given. Part of the prayer goes like this:
“O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love.”
Connecting with people during my Coffee with John has been for me about understanding, loving, and putting aside my own preconceptions or expectations of what the conversations should be about and lead to – friendships, epiphanies, edification, salvation or whatever.
In that sense, the prayer resonates with me. It’s not about me, my circumstances or wishes. Not to say that I don’t have to remind myself of this each time I walk out of the door to meet someone over coffee. I do.
Still, the more I connect with people, I like to believe I am opening myself to be more resilient, understanding, loving and just more present.
The takeaway today: sometimes life gives you a free croissant. Take it and enjoy it.
From early this week. The takeaway: enjoy the spur- of the- moment. While visiting a family friend and doing errands on this particular day, Coffee with John just happened. Typically, I have to coordinate with people to meet up and separate a date for us to meet up for coffee. So it was nice that we just ran with the moment and the situation allowed for it.
I meant to post this last week but I am just running behind.
This session was particularly eventful for a variety of reasons. The main being that my friend surprised me with special Coffee with John mugs. See image below:
The image on the mug is that of my tattoo, a tattoo that I had conceived on my mind years, years ago but only got it done recently. I am not going to elaborate on the meaning as it is long but all I can say to you is that it has a lot of meaning for me.
Anyways, the takeaway, if I am remembering correctly what I had on my mind this particular morning meeting: learn from our friends.
My friend has always emphasized to me the power of asking for what you want. I am paraphrasing here but his motto is, “asking is free. If you get a no, so what!”
I am going to practice that more. Don’t be afraid. Ask for what you want.
The last day of 2018 I spent the afternoon with one of my favorite persons in the whole wide world: my sister. We even got the chance to do Coffee with John after she accompanied me to court to do some adulting stuff.
The takeaway of the afternoon… actually, a few takeaways: 1) to my surprise, the courthouse is opened on the 31st of December; 2) Bonnie at the courthouse estate procedures in section in Charlotte, NC rocks- she was kind, helpful and knowledgeable; and 3) just treasure your time with your siblings.
I am grateful to have a great relationship with each of my three siblings. Not everyone does but if you do, take the time away from everything and invite your sister or brother to an outing, just the two of you. And if you don’t have a good relationship, I hope you can mend those ties.
PS: Update 2021 – I actually miscounted. This would have been Coffee with John 24. I totally forgot to do the takeaway from Coffee with John #23
Coffee With John 