The phrase “live your truth” is often touted as a guiding principle, but what does it mean?
Is it an act of bravery, or can it be seen as selfishness? What price do we pay for pursuing our path? Where do we draw the line between pathological behavior and a moral compass? Where is the boundary between honoring your inner truth and disregarding the impact on others?
The lines between living authentically and considering others’ feelings can be blurred or be clearly defined, depending on the context. Would we lie to family and friends, pretending all is well? Would we hide parts of our personality to conform to the status quo? What price are we willing to pay (either way, there is a price to pay)?
I can’t pretend to know the answers or know how I would tackle a situation that would force me to break from my community, friends, or family. The closest I have come is distancing myself due to political disagreements, but I strive to meet people with mutual respect and civility.
Markus Zusak’s “The Book Thief” provides an extreme example where the protagonists subtly defy Nazi Germany. Their quiet acts of kindness were a form of resistance and living with accordance with their inner values, but outright defiance meant death and punishment for their loved ones.
Fortunately, most of us never face such dire predicaments. Still, life is full of circumstances where embracing our truth can feel like a death sentence, breaking away from family, work, community, and friends. This can take the form of ending a relationship, disavowing core beliefs or embracing our hidden sexuality . Whatever the circumstances, bravery and integrity are required: integrity to live by your inner compass; and bravery to endure the price, including judgment, alienation, criticism, and backlash.
I didn’t get to discuss these questions with her but this brings me to Desiree, my coffee mate for this round of “Coffee with John.” You can read her story of living her truth in her own words as part of the HuffPost Personal essays here.
Desiree and her husband made a decision that changed their lives. What prompted me to invite her for a virtual coffee was not their decision to abandon their church or open their marriage, but her openness to connect with people from different walks of life—parallel to the spirit that fuels my “Coffee with John.”
Despite our three-hour time zone difference, in the spirit of CWJ, Desiree joined me with a black, cold brew from their special batch. We discussed her journey since her 2023 HuffPost article. Her life has had ups and downs, but she remains on a path of self-discovery as a wife, writer, mother, and sexual being in the exploration of her sexuality.
Our conversation ended abruptly as our Zoom time ran out, leaving many questions and themes unearthed.
I leave you with these questions to consider: How are you living your truth? Will you open yourself to scrutiny in search of your tribe, even if it means leaving behind what has shaped you so far?
Ultimately, living our truth requires a delicate balance on the high wire of life, where we must adjust each step to prevent falling.
Coffee With John 