Tag: virtual

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#98 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

“Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take…“

Coffee with John #98 reminded me of the first lines in David Whyte’s poem, “Start Close In.”

98 coffees later and I still get nervous at times when I am meeting a person for the first time. Will the conversation go well? Will I be able to be present and be somewhat coherent? Will I make a fool out of myself? What if things don’t go well or become awkward?

How many times do we let those types of doom-like questions prevent us from taking that step we don’t want to take? From saying “I love you,” drawing a will, having a difficult conversation with another or yourself, going out to a venue by yourself, taking a class, to launching a new business, we have so many areas in our personal and professional lives where taking that initial, first step can completely enrich and alter our lives, even for a brief moment. Yet, how many times do we not take that crucial step, completely limiting our experiences and sabotaging ourselves out of fear or nervousness?

I have over the years taking that stet I so dreaded in different areas of my life. For the most part, the rewards have been ten-fold. Yoga comes to mind as an example. I had always wanted to do it but it took a friend of my wife to accompany me to the first few classes before yoga became a staple in my life. Taking that step has led to many friendships and experiences, including this round of coffee.

I know I have many aspects of my life where I need to nudge myself still to take that step I don’t want to take. Avoiding conflict to keep “the peace” is one of those. In some areas taking that first step is easier than others. Other times, it takes a lot more mustering. And, of course, we all have circumstances where we might need to take that first time many times over before we get grounded.

I invite you to join me in challenging yourself in taking that step in an area in your life – take that step you don’t want to take. In an area of your life that you see as the appropriate time, with courage and love, take your own step on your terms.

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#62 Coffee with John

“I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let’s work our love and know each other more fully.” Mark Nepo

My first virtual Coffee with John since the lock-down/quarantine began I shared with a friend of more than 24 years. She is my sister from another mother. My Puerto Rican sista!

This woman has had my back more times than I can count. While in college, she saved my ass countless times from starving with all of her extra meal points. My first official job after graduating I owe to her. If I had a Board Committee, she has been the Vice President, giving me advice, helping me when I have been down, and just being an incredible friend all throughout the twenty-plus years that we have known each other. Her acts of kindness have humbled me and, hopefully, made me a better friend to people.

The takeaway after our three-hour conversation is that there is not enough time in a lifespan to truly know someone. Over the course of our talk, we discovered new things about each other. Nothing deeply revealing or shocking but just new facts and quirks, adding and enriching an already rich friendship.

We don’t let people see aspects of ourselves either because the opportunity never presents itself or we refuse for reasons that we only know. Also, we limit ourselves in seeing or truly getting to know someone because of our own blinders, fears, and stories we carry. The time to change that is now.

We are experiencing an incredibly challenging and taxing time in our history with uncertainty looming at every corner. If you can and are in a position to do so, I encourage you to get to know people in your life in a whole different way. You might never get a chance like this again in a lifetime. Get a book of questions to ask, spend more time with loved ones, and/or get lost in their worlds. Let them see you and let them freely express themselves so you can see them, truly see them.

My sister from another mother
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#30 Coffee with John

Yesterday marked the first weekend I ever had a Coffee with John. Typically, I meet up with people during the morning hours of the week.

The weekends are the days to do the cleaning of the house, getting things ready for the week, attending this or that event, or just tackling some sort of project I have created for myself – organize this, paint that, or just catch up with work, if needed. Always something, right?

This weekend, for the first in a while, I didn’t feel like doing any of the above. I felt tired and I was not in the best frame of mind – just stuck on my own story, you know?

Now, was I looking forward to a virtual coffee on a Sunday afternoon? Yes, and no. Yes, because the person is someone I love dearly and had not spoken to them in many years. And no, because I was just feeling lethargic and irritated at the world.

The hour came and I am glad I got out of my head.

But that’s not the only takeaway. What kept popping in my mind afterwards was how we gamble with time.

We think we have all this time to have that coffee with an old friend; take that one class we always been meaning to tackle; undertake and conquer that alluding home project; visit all the places in our list of countries to see and experience; call that one relative you have been meaning to call in the last three months…the list is endless, as long as the excuses not to tackle them. We gamble and think we will get to those things, eventually.

Perhaps, we will. Maybe we will live for 100 years. Still, even then, I bet you, we will still have not done all the little things we put aside for no good reason.

Not to say that we all now need to get into a race against time, running wild with no regards for the future or our responsibilities.

That would be fruitless. All I can say is that we gamble with time. The irony is that we think we don’t have the time to do all the little things we say we want to do. So we just put them aside, for another more auspicious opportunity that might never come.

I don’t know if this is true but I remember coming across somewhere about certain cultures that treat each interaction with each other as if the last one, with no guarantee of a future meeting. For me, there is something beautiful about that.

Makes me cherish people more, appreciate the day-to-day, and push myself to get out of my own head to just do one of those little things I have always wanted to do or have meant to do. We all make our gamble with time.

Make it worth it.

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#21 Coffee with John

Had another virtual coffee early this morning. This was my third or so and, as much as I have enjoyed them, there is this part of me that still resistant to the idea. Of course, once I have the virtual session, I can’t wait until the next.

The takeaway of today’s experience: listen and take the time to learn about other people. I have said that before but it’s worth repeating.

It’s fascinating to invest the time in others. The experience might humble and surprise you.Coffee with John - Jennelle - Virtual

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#18 Coffee with John

No picture from the last Coffee with John but what I do have is the takeaway, which is courage.

It takes courage to persevere and stand tall while the winds of life blow at you in all, unexpected directions.

It’s easy to fold to frustrations and emotions (as valid as they might be). It doesn’t mean that while you face situations all will go smoothly or as you planned. It probably won’t. All you can do is continue on your journey.

 

Coffee with Giovanni and Donna

PS: If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one as well and want another perspective, I encourage you to read the following blog: https://stilliriseinnc.org/

 

 

 

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#17 Coffee with John

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Another ménage à trois. Sometimes coffee is just better with three people.

This was also another Converse Coffee with John meeting. That’s two in a row with different people.

I am telling you: all the cool kids wear Converse. They probably converse, too.

Today’s takeaway: perseverance.

IMG_20181204_112727

Life throws obstacles, challenges and a myriad of things at us, and all we can do is march forward to turn the page. That might mean starting a whole new chapter in your life, one that’s only beginning to be written by you.

 

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#15 Coffee with John

Getting up this morning under this rainy and cold weather was challenging to say the least. Only motive was that I had already committed to meeting for Coffee with John.

I tell you what though?

It was utterly, 100% worth it.

No amount of sleep could have made up for the wonderful time I had talking and getting to know better an individual that is just radiant and amazing on so many levels.

The takeaway: a good conversation is priceless, especially over a good cup of coffee.

Coffee with John Melissa

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#14 Coffee with John

November 13th

Today Coffee with John at my favorite local: my house.

The takeaway for today: love and hope can see you through darkness.

Amazing and inspiring to hear how people have overcome obstacles and the many challenges life throws at you at any given moment.

Coffee with John Carolyn

 

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#12 Coffee with John

Had my second virtual Coffee with John early this morning. I don’t know why I was initially resistant to the whole idea of virtual meetups. Well, actually I know why, but both past experiences have been great on their own right.

The takeaway, and it’s worth repeating: don’t be hesitant to try new things.

So those that had asked me to do Facetime/Skype (or whatever version of it) and I had totally ignored, I am sorry.

Truly, I am but you have to understand my goal of setting up these Coffee with John sessions have been (and continue to be) for me to get out of the house for my own personal reasons.

But now, I am more than willing to do the virtual meet-ups. So let’s do it. Send me a message and we will set a time to “meet up.” Just bring your own coffeeVirtual Coffee2

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#11 Coffee with John

November 9th

I want to thank my “anonymous” sponsor for today’s Coffee with John session.

I thank you for your friendship, generosity, thoughtfulness, and love. Touched that you thought of supporting my pet project by sending me an extremely generous gift card.

Truly grateful!

Today’s takeaway from back-to-back meetups: 1) don’t be afraid to try new endeavors; and 2) good conversations can truly nourish our minds and spirit.

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