Tag: write up

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#124 Coffee with John

“Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, ‘Did you bring joy?’ The second was, ‘Did you find joy?’”

-Leo Buscaglia

Have you always known what you wanted to do with your life? 

Some are lucky and find their calling early in life. 

Others are still searching. 

Since the age of five, I knew I wanted to be a grant writer, a sentiment no grant writer has ever uttered! 

Clearly, I group myself with the wandering souls, not to say I have not practiced or done what I love. I have been fortunate to successfully make a living by weaving words together.

They might not be novels, plays, poems, or what we might associate with writing, but life has allowed me to work on a craft supporting the arts as a grant writer for a theatre company. Ironically, I remember two or three people early in my life telling me that whatever I did in life should not be anywhere near writing. 

Perhaps those words of doubt fueled me with a drive to push myself to master the craft, hammering each comma and period at a time, leading to where I am today. To the chagrin of my detractors, I can confidently say now that I can write a cohesive sentence.

In the last few years, I have continued to explore other aspects that call out to me. This exploration is connecting me with the inner artists I have long neglected. As a kid, I enjoyed spending endless hours drawing and painting. Chasing photography brings me that same joy. The ability to combine photography and writing through my projects is a pinnacle I continue to pursue. 

Will I make a living out of it? Is that my calling? 

 I don’t believe in having one calling in life, nor am I pursuing fame, glory, and fortune. Why not embrace a polymathic approach if one can? What I am after is nourishing my soul and engaging in what brings me joy. Equally important for me is using whatever talents are at my disposal to tell stories, connect with community, and grow professionally, personally, and spiritually.  

Sharing, learning, nourishing the soul, and challenging myself are central to my pursuits. Concurrently, these elements align with my coffee mate’s goal to build a business to help people connect with their passions, dreams, and goals. 

My place here is not to talk about her business but rather to leave you with the query: how would you answer the question posed in the quote at the start of this write-up? 

What brings you joy? How are you spending your time in this season of your life? What are you doing to share your talents with the world despite what others think? What actions can you take today to unearth those dreams and passions long buried in the treasure box of your memories?

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Reflection of Gratitude

This post showed up on my Facebook Memories recently, conjuring up bittersweet memories of what seems like a lifetime ago.

A sentiment that comes across is the immense gratitude for all the people that supported and carried us through those difficult times.


So many to fully and properly acknowledge, from the team of doctors, nurses and hospice workers who showed compassion and care, friends who accompanied my wife to her chemo sessions, the folks that started meal trains and fundraising campaigns, to those that were there to console me when my wife passed.


In between, there are so many people that helped my family and myself get through.
I will forever be thankful to the kindness, love, generosity and love we were grateful to receive.

I give you my gratitude a million times over.


Gracias mil

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#98 Coffee with John, Virtual Edition

“Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take…“

Coffee with John #98 reminded me of the first lines in David Whyte’s poem, “Start Close In.”

98 coffees later and I still get nervous at times when I am meeting a person for the first time. Will the conversation go well? Will I be able to be present and be somewhat coherent? Will I make a fool out of myself? What if things don’t go well or become awkward?

How many times do we let those types of doom-like questions prevent us from taking that step we don’t want to take? From saying “I love you,” drawing a will, having a difficult conversation with another or yourself, going out to a venue by yourself, taking a class, to launching a new business, we have so many areas in our personal and professional lives where taking that initial, first step can completely enrich and alter our lives, even for a brief moment. Yet, how many times do we not take that crucial step, completely limiting our experiences and sabotaging ourselves out of fear or nervousness?

I have over the years taking that stet I so dreaded in different areas of my life. For the most part, the rewards have been ten-fold. Yoga comes to mind as an example. I had always wanted to do it but it took a friend of my wife to accompany me to the first few classes before yoga became a staple in my life. Taking that step has led to many friendships and experiences, including this round of coffee.

I know I have many aspects of my life where I need to nudge myself still to take that step I don’t want to take. Avoiding conflict to keep “the peace” is one of those. In some areas taking that first step is easier than others. Other times, it takes a lot more mustering. And, of course, we all have circumstances where we might need to take that first time many times over before we get grounded.

I invite you to join me in challenging yourself in taking that step in an area in your life – take that step you don’t want to take. In an area of your life that you see as the appropriate time, with courage and love, take your own step on your terms.

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#90 Coffee with John

I can’t say that I have been wronged to the point where my trust has been shattered. At the same time, I am not sure how you can measure such a thing.

A few events come to mind where I can say that my trust and faith in people have been tested. But, honestly, I probably have been guilty of being on the side of the culprit. How many times we do things without truly taking into account the effect of those actions on others? Or how many other times we feel like we have no option but to do something that you know will end-up hurting others?

Some situations are clear where the betrayal and hurt cut deep, sending people over the edge to the point of depression, despair, and being blinded by rage and a desire for vengeance or retaliation.

Maybe the depth of betrayal doesn’t matter in the end. What matters is the ability to forgive the trespassers of your trust.

That ability and the rays of hope and light that accompany the power to move forward and truly forgive I found in my coffee mate for this edition. Her story is that of hers to tell. What I will say is that it took, according to her own accord, time and healing to reach that point where she could sit on that understanding, moving to a place of peace, love, and grace.

Finding that power can set us free. Is it easy? Probably, not.

Now, I believe that I don’t hold grudges, but – if ever the time comes when I am truly tested – I hope I have the power to be beckoned by forgiveness and live and breathe on that space.

PS:

To learn more about the beautiful soul behind the story, you can check her blog, at https://porchdaydreamer.com/about/ You can also follow her Instagram, Porch Daydreamer

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#85 Coffee with John

Poised, articulate, confident and nimble in her skills.

Those were my first impressions four years ago of my Coffee with John #85 mate.

We briefly met at the time at a conference for Latinx arts and individual artists. She was one of the hosting sponsors leading some of the introductions. We talked shop briefly and we exchanged perfunctory networking emails. The end.

Fast forward four/five years later, we found each other sharing a fun afternoon that involved a boat ride with a hand-picked group of invited friends brought together by a mutual friend — the extraordinary and talented Rosalia Torres Weiner.

This mutual friend- an artist, connector, community advocate – typically invites two or three people on given days to her home by the lake as a way to connect, re-energize her creativity, and share some of her passions. That day, I happened to be one of the lucky ones to be invited to share and join in the experience, along with two other guests.

But, for a brief second, let me backtrack again to the conference. It happened that the conference coincided with the week when I learned that Lari’s cancer had metastasized to her bones. I was crushed during that time. I had not shared the news with anyone at that point. I happened to run into Rosalia at the conference and I shared the news with her, ending up with me crying and her giving me a hug. That moment passed and we went along our respective day enjoying and partaking in the three-day conference.

I don’t know how any of this relates but my takeaway is as much about how life/circumstances/networks circle back as it is about curiosity.

We have to engage and be curious about discovering the many layers of a person. We meet people all the time and we immediately make assumptions and have a set impression about them.

I am glad to report that my assumptions and impressions of Coffee Mate #85 were right on the money. She is an impressive, talented woman with many layers and rich complexities.

She shared with me some of her life experiences, vulnerabilities, and tribulations, given her an even greater depth to the person I initially saw at a podium adroitly translating simultaneously Spanish into English to a crowd of 200+ attendees four/five years.