Tag: writing

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#45 Coffee with John

Running behind these posts: Coffee with John #45

I had a few takeaways from this encounter. Now I am just trying to remember them.

First, a takeaway for me: I need to expand my definition of spiritual. Or better yet, I need to define it for myself. The spectra of meanings are vast out there; the more I meet people, the range widens.

Second: sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. We give or want to attach meaning to certain events/circumstances/coincidences when maybe what we need to do is be in that moment and let the mysteries of the universe work themselves out.

Last takeaway: grateful for people willing to meet up with me over coffee, tea or whatever they prefer. I truly appreciate each encounter.

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#44 Coffee with John

The takeaway: courage and tenacity take many forms and shapes.

We sometimes admire the bravery of others, admiring them for qualities that we might not have or think we don’t.

Not to take anything away from that source of inspiration, but we sometimes do not acknowledge our own acts of bravery and the many roads we have had to take to get us where we stand today.

We are all brave, one way or another. What you have gone through not many would have been able to endure. If there is an area you feel lacking, then draw inspiration from those around you and challenge yourself.

You are able to conquer whatever you want. Not easy at times but who said it would be.

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#36 Coffee with John

Coffee with John #36


Takeaway: We all have these notions or benchmarks of what we are supposed to be. Those beliefs dictate our actions and behaviors.

The price is that we mask ourselves and pretend to be someone or something we are not. Be honest to yourself and your being; don’t try to comfort or fit into a specific checked box. As that Bob Marley song says, “free yourself from mental slavery.”

Yes. Different occasions require us to play certain roles but, if you are constantly lying to yourself and others, then you must confront yourself.

In some rare cases, being honest with yourself might mean breaking away completely from what you know. It might mean changing careers, taking on new responsibilities, confronting fears, pursuing that long-lost passion, ending certain habits, among a hundred other things.

I hope we all find the courage to find our true selves. And, in the process, our true passions. Of course, don’t go breaking the law now because deep down inside you believe you are a fun, loving criminal.

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#29 Coffee with John

Coffee with John number thirty-something (I had lost count when I originally wrote the note).

The takeaway: gratefulness. We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.

We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.

I am grateful to everyone that has said yes to meet me. I am grateful for your time, your stories, and your boldness. Thank you for sharing, taking the time to meet, and for giving me your warmth.

I look forward to connecting and having more conversation over coffee (or tea).

Thank you. I am grateful.

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#27 Coffee with John

The best part of Coffee with John: connecting with people and hearing their stories.

I recently came across a prayer on a book I was given. Part of the prayer goes like this:

“O divine master grant that I may

not so much seek to be consoled as to console

to be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love.”

Connecting with people during my Coffee with John has been for me about understanding, loving, and putting aside my own preconceptions or expectations of what the conversations should be about and lead to – friendships, epiphanies, edification, salvation or whatever.

In that sense, the prayer resonates with me. It’s not about me, my circumstances or wishes. Not to say that I don’t have to remind myself of this each time I walk out of the door to meet someone over coffee. I do.

Still, the more I connect with people, I like to believe I am opening myself to be more resilient, understanding, loving and just more present.

The takeaway today: sometimes life gives you a free croissant. Take it and enjoy it.

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#26 Coffee with John

From early this week. The takeaway: enjoy the spur- of the- moment. While visiting a family friend and doing errands on this particular day, Coffee with John just happened. Typically, I have to coordinate with people to meet up and separate a date for us to meet up for coffee. So it was nice that we just ran with the moment and the situation allowed for it.

Coffee with John Rosie

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#25 Coffee with John

I meant to post this last week but I am just running behind.

This session was particularly eventful for a variety of reasons. The main being that my friend surprised me with special Coffee with John mugs. See image below:

img_20190110_094741

The image on the mug is that of my tattoo, a tattoo that I had conceived on my mind years, years ago but only got it done recently. I am not going to elaborate on the meaning as it is long but all I can say to you is that it has a lot of meaning for me.

Anyways, the takeaway, if I am remembering correctly what I had on my mind this particular morning meeting: learn from our friends.

My friend has always emphasized to me the power of asking for what you want. I am paraphrasing here but his motto is, “asking is free. If you get a no, so what!”

I am going to practice that more. Don’t be afraid. Ask for what you want.

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#23 Coffee with John

The last day of 2018 I spent the afternoon with one of my favorite persons in the whole wide world: my sister. We even got the chance to do Coffee with John after she accompanied me to court to do some adulting stuff.
 
The takeaway of the afternoon… actually, a few takeaways: 1) to my surprise, the courthouse is opened on the 31st of December; 2) Bonnie at the courthouse estate procedures in section in Charlotte, NC rocks- she was kind, helpful and knowledgeable; and 3) just treasure your time with your siblings.
 
I am grateful to have a great relationship with each of my three siblings. Not everyone does but if you do, take the time away from everything and invite your sister or brother to an outing, just the two of you. And if you don’t have a good relationship, I hope you can mend those ties.
PS: Update 2021 – I actually miscounted. This would have been Coffee with John 24. I totally forgot to do the takeaway from Coffee with John #23coffee with john - sister sandra
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#22 Coffee with John

I am glad I went for my Coffee with John this morning. I had a great conversation with a passionate, intriguing, and energetic individual.
 
Still, it took effort to get out. I just woke up with a dark cloud hanging over me without much desire to interact with anyone.
 
The meeting went well and I came back to get ready for the rest of the day, including preparing the family meal of the day. While I was at it, I happened to catch a story on NPR about an unlikely friendship: that of the basketball player, Charles Barkley, and a Chinese chemist/scientist in Muscatine, Iowa named, Lin Wang.
 
I was just listening to the story with interest but without any emotional attachment. That changed when the story mentioned that Mr. Lin Wang had passed.
 
The mention of palliative care and some other details of the story just brought a wave of emotions, hitting me instantly and entrapping me in a swirl of tears.
 
Next thing you know I was just crying, sharing in the pain of Mr. Wang’s family and feeling my own unrepairable sadness.
 
I needed that cry. It felt cathartic.
 
I guess the takeaway of this morning in its entirety: honor your emotions. Let them come as they come.
 
Also, human connections have no boundaries. Take the time to connect with people, even when it takes effort on your part. You never know what kind of friendships you will cultivate.
 
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#21 Coffee with John

Had another virtual coffee early this morning. This was my third or so and, as much as I have enjoyed them, there is this part of me that still resistant to the idea. Of course, once I have the virtual session, I can’t wait until the next.

The takeaway of today’s experience: listen and take the time to learn about other people. I have said that before but it’s worth repeating.

It’s fascinating to invest the time in others. The experience might humble and surprise you.Coffee with John - Jennelle - Virtual