The past colliding with the future.
Facts are indisputable. Yet, we all have our versions of the past, seen through our experiences, and informed by our own biases and internal and external forces – age, race, gender, social-economic status, etc.
The cool, beautiful girl you so admired back in middle school you come to find out was riddled with insecurities and thought of herself as the ugly duckling. The bully, who went around terrorizing all, turns out was in turmoil over his sexuality.
A place you hold dear to your heart for the fond memories it conjures up can elicit opposite feelings for others. For you, it can be the place you came of age, for others: a tragic spot filled with nightmares.
We don’t always get to revisit or learn how others experienced shared histories, not that doing so would change our memories or reconcile our past. Still, glancing into the history of others can help us gain new revelations and be more understandable, forgiving, and generous to ourselves and others.
This last round of Coffee with John reminded me of the importance of stepping out of our shoes to look around and see who might benefit from us acknowledging their story and where they are standing in comparison to us. We all need to pause and truly see others beyond our lens, needs, and feelings.
Coffee With John 