dealing with life
The takeaway: don’t over think situations, especially things that are beyond our control.
We over think things, making a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes we just need to be open to the experience and be as best prepared as we can.
From a few weeks back, Coffee with John. This was my #37 meet up but my first Coffee with John in NYC. The takeaway: you need to let go of the past to move forward.
Coffee with John #36
Takeaway: We all have these notions or benchmarks of what we are supposed to be. Those beliefs dictate our actions and behaviors.
The price is that we mask ourselves and pretend to be someone or something we are not. Be honest to yourself and your being; don’t try to comfort or fit into a specific checked box. As that Bob Marley song says, “free yourself from mental slavery.”
Yes. Different occasions require us to play certain roles but, if you are constantly lying to yourself and others, then you must confront yourself.
In some rare cases, being honest with yourself might mean breaking away completely from what you know. It might mean changing careers, taking on new responsibilities, confronting fears, pursuing that long-lost passion, ending certain habits, among a hundred other things.
I hope we all find the courage to find our true selves. And, in the process, our true passions. Of course, don’t go breaking the law now because deep down inside you believe you are a fun, loving criminal.
From a few weeks back (falling behind with my posts):
Takeaway: Be receptive and open. Don’t come to a situation with your jar filled. Let it be empty and overflow with new information.
Of course, if you need to be prepared for a situation, be prepared. Still, don’t come with assumptions or preconceived notions. Let go of it all and be open to the experience.
Coffee with John #34
What is power?
The definition can vary, depending on different variables and who you ask but I like Merriman Webster’s definition of power as the “ability to act or produce an effect.”
That echoes the takeaway from my penultimate coffee meeting. We all have the power to act and change the course of our life at a given point in our lives. Not to say that it’s always easy or without herculean efforts but the ability is there, sometimes hidden or unnurtured.
We have the ability to act.
Takeaway: just as life hits you with unexpected realities, life also gives you welcomed surprises like finding a $1 as you step out of your car or having a great conversation with someone you only met a few weeks back.
Takeaway: life is full of unexpected turns.
You might have your plans but life itself has other plans stored for you. All you can do is forge forward and embrace what life puts in front of you.
What other choice do you have but to be brave and keep on rolling?
Always grateful when friends take time to meet up. Nothing like a good cup of coffee over a great conversation with good company. Agradecido (Grateful).
No great epiphany, or personal insight.
This is not to say I didn’t enjoy the conversation. I did. I always find it interesting to learn about people’s passions, especially if those aspirations are to create a better world, one way or another.
Also, I find it fascinating to explore the perceptions we all have of each other. That’s what’s great about having the chance to connect with people face-to-face and go beyond what you see on their social media.
For 99% of the time, I have no clue what the Coffee with John conversations will lead. This time I had an inkling. I just knew where the conversation was going to go beforehand — not so much the conversation but the subtext of it.
So in a sense, I felt disconnected as I knew there was an agenda on the table. This is neither good or bad. It is what it is. In the long run, if I can help someone, I more than willing to explore possibilities.
I guess those all are takeaways, but for me, the biggest: McDonald’s coffee ain’t half bad. I had not been in a McDonald’ in years. So I was pleasantly surprised.
Yesterday marked the first weekend I ever had a Coffee with John. Typically, I meet up with people during the morning hours of the week.
The weekends are the days to do the cleaning of the house, getting things ready for the week, attending this or that event, or just tackling some sort of project I have created for myself – organize this, paint that, or just catch up with work, if needed. Always something, right?
This weekend, for the first in a while, I didn’t feel like doing any of the above. I felt tired and I was not in the best frame of mind – just stuck on my own story, you know?
Now, was I looking forward to a virtual coffee on a Sunday afternoon? Yes, and no. Yes, because the person is someone I love dearly and had not spoken to them in many years. And no, because I was just feeling lethargic and irritated at the world.
The hour came and I am glad I got out of my head.
But that’s not the only takeaway. What kept popping in my mind afterwards was how we gamble with time.
We think we have all this time to have that coffee with an old friend; take that one class we always been meaning to tackle; undertake and conquer that alluding home project; visit all the places in our list of countries to see and experience; call that one relative you have been meaning to call in the last three months…the list is endless, as long as the excuses not to tackle them. We gamble and think we will get to those things, eventually.
Perhaps, we will. Maybe we will live for 100 years. Still, even then, I bet you, we will still have not done all the little things we put aside for no good reason.
Not to say that we all now need to get into a race against time, running wild with no regards for the future or our responsibilities.
That would be fruitless. All I can say is that we gamble with time. The irony is that we think we don’t have the time to do all the little things we say we want to do. So we just put them aside, for another more auspicious opportunity that might never come.
I don’t know if this is true but I remember coming across somewhere about certain cultures that treat each interaction with each other as if the last one, with no guarantee of a future meeting. For me, there is something beautiful about that.
Makes me cherish people more, appreciate the day-to-day, and push myself to get out of my own head to just do one of those little things I have always wanted to do or have meant to do. We all make our gamble with time.
Make it worth it.
Coffee With John 