I can’t believe I have met with 40 people for Coffee with John, not counting repeats!
I am incredibly grateful to all the individuals that have met up with me. Thank you!
Many of you I only had met once or twice before. Thank you for your time and for being brave to join me in the journey of conversations. I look forward to continue connecting and having great talks while we share a moment together over coffee/tea.
The takeaway from Coffee with John #40: we sometimes tell ourselves, “I am too young, old, or inexperienced,” keeping ourselves from taking a leap to experience something new.
We think because of our age or lack of experience we can’t do this or that. Or we think that we don’t have much to offer or contribute. That’s all rubbish.
We all have value, bringing our unique experience to the table. I know I have to remind myself of this all the time. Don’t let your age or perception of lack of experience keep you from doing anything. I salute those that, despite their reservations, take the leap and jump into something completely new or totally beyond their comfort zone.
I truly appreciate when people say what they commit to doing. “I will let you know soon,” “We will make it happen.” We casually make these type of commitments but never follow up.
So it’s great (and refreshing) when people actually do follow up, even if it’s just to say that they can’t follow through with their original intention.
Another takeaway, it’s key to have self-value and expect others to treat you with respect. That might mean taking a bold stand like uprooting and taking a whole different path in life.
Takeaway: We all have these notions or benchmarks of what we are supposed to be. Those beliefs dictate our actions and behaviors.
The price is that we mask ourselves and pretend to be someone or something we are not. Be honest to yourself and your being; don’t try to comfort or fit into a specific checked box. As that Bob Marley song says, “free yourself from mental slavery.”
Yes. Different occasions require us to play certain roles but, if you are constantly lying to yourself and others, then you must confront yourself.
In some rare cases, being honest with yourself might mean breaking away completely from what you know. It might mean changing careers, taking on new responsibilities, confronting fears, pursuing that long-lost passion, ending certain habits, among a hundred other things.
I hope we all find the courage to find our true selves. And, in the process, our true passions. Of course, don’t go breaking the law now because deep down inside you believe you are a fun, loving criminal.
Takeaway: just as life hits you with unexpected realities, life also gives you welcomed surprises like finding a $1 as you step out of your car or having a great conversation with someone you only met a few weeks back.
Always grateful when friends take time to meet up. Nothing like a good cup of coffee over a great conversation with good company. Agradecido (Grateful).
Yesterday marked the first weekend I ever had a Coffee with John.
Typically, I meet up with people during the morning hours of the week.
The weekends are the days to do the cleaning of the house, getting things ready for the week, attending this or that event, or just tackling some sort of project I have created for myself – organize this, paint that, or just catch up with work, if needed. Always something, right?
This weekend, for the first in a while, I didn’t feel like doing any of the above. I felt tired and I was not in the best frame of mind – just stuck on my own story, you know?
Now, was I looking forward to a virtual coffee on a Sunday afternoon?
Yes, and no. Yes, because the person is someone I love dearly and had
not spoken to them in many years. And no, because I was just feeling
lethargic and irritated at the world.
The hour came and I am glad I got out of my head.
But that’s not the only takeaway. What kept popping in my mind afterwards was how we gamble with time.
We think we have all this time to have that coffee with an old friend;
take that one class we always been meaning to tackle; undertake and
conquer that alluding home project; visit all the places in our list of
countries to see and experience; call that one relative you have been
meaning to call in the last three months…the list is endless, as long
as the excuses not to tackle them. We gamble and think we will get to
those things, eventually.
Perhaps, we will. Maybe we will live for 100 years. Still, even then, I bet you, we will still have not done all the little things we put aside for no good reason.
Not to say that we all now need to get into a race against time, running wild with no regards for the future or our responsibilities.
That would be fruitless. All I can say is that we gamble with time. The irony is that we think we don’t have the time to do all the little things we say we want to do. So we just put them aside, for another more auspicious opportunity that might never come.
I don’t know if this is true but I remember coming across somewhere about certain cultures that treat each interaction with each other as if the last one, with no guarantee of a future meeting. For me, there is something beautiful about that.
Makes me cherish people more, appreciate
the day-to-day, and push myself to get out of my own head to just do one
of those little things I have always wanted to do or have meant to do.
We all make our gamble with time.
Coffee with John number thirty-something (I had lost count when I originally wrote the note).
The takeaway: gratefulness. We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
We all have our routines, network of friends, comfort zones. Breaking out of those routines and levels of comfort to take the time to meet someone that you are not close enough or know only through a distant circle, takes courage.
I am grateful to everyone that has said
yes to meet me. I am grateful for your time, your stories, and your
boldness. Thank you for sharing, taking the time to meet, and for giving me your warmth.
I look forward to connecting and having more conversation over coffee (or tea).
I am glad I went for my Coffee with John this morning. I had a great conversation with a passionate, intriguing, and energetic individual.
Still, it took effort to get out. I just woke up with a dark cloud hanging over me without much desire to interact with anyone.
The meeting went well and I came back to get ready for the rest of the day, including preparing the family meal of the day. While I was at it, I happened to catch a story on NPR about an unlikely friendship: that of the basketball player, Charles Barkley, and a Chinese chemist/scientist in Muscatine, Iowa named, Lin Wang.
I was just listening to the story with interest but without any emotional attachment. That changed when the story mentioned that Mr. Lin Wang had passed.
The mention of palliative care and some other details of the story just brought a wave of emotions, hitting me instantly and entrapping me in a swirl of tears.
Next thing you know I was just crying, sharing in the pain of Mr. Wang’s family and feeling my own unrepairable sadness.
I needed that cry. It felt cathartic.
I guess the takeaway of this morning in its entirety: honor your emotions. Let them come as they come.
Also, human connections have no boundaries. Take the time to connect with people, even when it takes effort on your part. You never know what kind of friendships you will cultivate.
Coffee With John 